


People Aren't Weapons

by captainafroelf



Series: Bucky and Mira [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Badass SHIELD Agents, Black Character(s), Bucky gets laid, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Character of Color, Female Friendship, Fluff and Humor, Interracial Relationship, Like super laid, Minor Character Death, some angst but you'll live
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-02-25 01:37:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 37,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2603753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainafroelf/pseuds/captainafroelf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>S.H.I.E.L.D Agent Mira Wilson has much to complain about: a desk job at the world's greatest intelligence agency, the supportive yet hard to live up to cousin Sam, and her own minor health issues. When she meets a certain metal-armed super soldier, life finally begins to become exciting and beautiful for the both of them. Are the cards in this blooming romance's favor or will old painful wounds re-open and tear everything apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Encounters

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for giving this little number a chance! I've revised this at least twenty times so please tell me if it's horrible. We meet our OC and her future bae in this chapter... Woohoo!

Being a boring secretary at S.H.I.E.L.D is the definition of a dream job turned sour but, unfortunately for Mira, it was reality.

She’d dreamed of S.H.I.E.L.D since she was a kid. She followed high profile cases like a hawk. She captured the entirety of the Battle of New York on her iPhone and sometimes she watched it just revel in the nostalgia of the moment. She always wanted to fight alongside Captain America and kick alien ass and wear a leather catsuit and… it almost happened... She got the catsuit.

She was recommended for the agency by her cousin Sam after she saw him in the news carrying Captain America through the city about a year ago. She passed all the physical tests and the written entry exam. Her knowledge and mastery of S.H.I.E.L.D protocol captivated her supervisors. She seemed like a natural fit for the job.

Well, she seemed like a fit until they checked her medical records.

 **“ _WEAK IMMUNE SYSTEM_ ”** was the sentence that chained her to a metal desk at the entry of the new top-secret S.H.I.E.L.D hideout.

 **“ _HOSPITALIZED AT THE AGE OF 19 FOR SEVERE FLU_ ”** was the sentence that threw away the key to those chains.

Although she was almost positive that S.H.I.E.L.D was a much livelier place to work before Hydra basically crushed it from the inside out, she still wished that her job could get better somehow. She was tired of handling phone calls while everyone else went on missions. She was tired of sitting in the underground bunker all day, and receiving zero fresh air to her lungs.

Sam stopped by regularly to check on her sanity. The problem with that was he was always on his way to a mission she’d never be on, and that wasn’t helping her sanity much either.

“Hey, cuz!” Sam said gleefully. The smile on his face was more comforting than happy. “How’s it going?”

She sighed. “Death would be kinder, how are you?” She glared at the pile of letters without return addresses that she was told to guard until the toxic substance crew showed up and cleared the area. She had to do this almost every week. She honestly wished people would stop trying to blow the agency up, even though she knew that wasn’t going to happen any time in the near future.

Sam bit his lip and drummed her desk with his fingers. “Well, I have a bit of a surprise for you, Mira…” he sang. “I decided that me and a couple of pals needed some combat practice so I brought them here instead of our usual gym. They should be walking in any second.”

Mira rolled her eyes and pulled out her mirror to check her hair. “God, Sam I don’t think anything could make this job any happier. All the fun literally happens behind me!”

The door opened and Sam raised his eyebrow. “You sure?”

“Yes, I’m completely-”

Mira was honestly shocked. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were walking up to her desk! They were as glittery and glowing as she imagined. Steve was tall and muscular. His face had an all-American quality of hopefulness, his eyes were like staring into optimism itself. Bucky walked closely behind him, peeking at Mira with steely blue eyes from beneath his black hoodie. He was slightly shorter than Steve and had a much darker vibe, but he was still handsome. Mira felt drawn to him, like she had when she first heard that Sam and Steve found him months ago. She wanted to talk to Bucky about his experiences, but she knew he probably wouldn’t want to talk about them.

Mira almost felt paralyzed by how star-struck she was. “Sam, w-why didn’t you tell me-”

“Steve, Bucky, this is my cousin Mira.” He said.

Steve smiled. “Nice to meet you, ma’am, Sam has told us so much about you. He loves you.” She stood up to shake his hand.

“I’m just… I admire you so much, Captain Rogers.”

“You should taste his cooking some time.” Sam told her.

Steve shook his head and grabbed onto Bucky’s shoulder. “This guy can cook, and he’s a fast learner.”

Bucky was still studying Mira’s face. Since he’d been in the business of forgetting for so long he was trying desperately to remember everything, and this girl was something worth remembering...

* * *

 

Sam woke Bucky up earlier than usual to work out earlier than usual. He told him they were going to combat practice and Steve assured him that it would be fun, but he doubted that so much because it was far too early for this adventure bullshit. He wanted so desperately to ask what the hell they were doing this early in the morning, and why it required an hour long drive. So, he did.

“What the hell are we doing and why does it require an hour long drive?” he asked Sam about halfway through the journey. His hoodie was keeping him from completely freezing in the frigid Autumn morning air.

“Combat practice, like I said.” Sam replied. “Oh, and to visit my cousin, she’s a secretary at S.H.I.E.L.D HQ.”

“Mira?” asked Steve. Sam nodded proudly.

“She’s dying of boredom so I figured I’d bring her some excitement in the form of you two.”

Bucky yawned and stretched. “I’m so flattered to be your cousin’s entertainment.”

“Please, Bucky, wait until you see her. She’s the best looking person in my family, sweetest girl in the world, you’ll love her. I promise.”

Bucky groaned. “You owe me three lost hours of sleep, Wilson.”

When they finally got to HQ, Bucky swore to himself in quiet Russian. Sam could be a bit overly-enthusiastic, but he knew he was only trying to help rehabilitate him, so he just went with it. But messing with a man’s sleep schedule? That’s incentive for a fight. Bucky would have his revenge soon.

After a long elevator ride, and an even longer all too common battle with the metal detectors at the front, they finally made it through. Sam walked in first to greet his cousin, and Bucky stopped in his tracks. Steve turned around and looked at his best friend with concern.

“Nervous?” he asked.

Bucky scoffed. “Yeah, right, punk. About what?”

“Besides Natasha and Agent Hill, this is the first woman you’ve met since we found you and-”

“You think I’ve forgotten how to talk to girls?”

“No, no, no, no! I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just saying, I’ve seen pictures of Mira, she is really beautiful, I just-”

“You think I’ve forgotten how to talk to girls, Steve. I get it. But girls are just people. I’m used to people. Sort of. Trust me, I’ve got this under control.”

“Okay, Buck, but I’m right here with you.”

“Steve, please shut up.”

They walked in behind Sam and, God, was Bucky wrong. Sam’s cousin was absolutely stunning. She was a golden-brown skinned woman with full pink lips and big curly hair down to her shoulders. Her eyes were like round hazel doll’s eyes. Her smile was bright and happy. It was like everything he wanted to be.

He got nervous, he froze up a bit. It was as if he’d forgotten how to talk completely. _Shit, I hate when Steve is right…_

* * *

 

“It’s amazing to meet you, Agent Barnes.” Mira said. “Sam has been keeping me updated on your condition, you’re really remarkable.”

He nervously shook her hand and stepped back behind Steve.

Sam had that smug ‘I told you so’ expression on his face aimed directly at Bucky. “So, Bucky was just so excited to meet you.” He told Mira. She turned to him and her cheeks turned red.

She cleared her throat. “I’ve been wanting to meet you too. I wish I could see you on missions, I hear you get really into the job.”

Bucky tried to appear aloof, he slouched and shrugged like he wasn’t extremely attracted to her. Part of him was actually denying his attraction to her. “I’m sure you’re a great agent, too.”

Mira looked away. “I’m not exactly a field agent.” she admitted. “Bad immune system. It’s okay, it’s for the best. People like you are the ones meant to be in the field. You’re a soldier.”

Steve leaned on her desk and grinned at her framed Captain America trading cards. “As long as you’re fighting for what you believe in, you’re a soldier, too.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Cap.”

“Well, we’ve got to go to training.” Sam said. “Let’s go.”

Steve started following him, but Bucky ignored him, as usual. “So how long have you been working for S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“A year or so.” Mira answered. “It’s been a very strange year.”

“I’m sure. It’s been strange for me, too.”

“I think strange is an understatement in your case.”

His eyes caught her’s and he stared until she looked down almost apologetically. “It seems to only be getting stranger...”


	2. Thank You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kind words that I've received on tumblr and just the unexpected support. This is the first time I've written a fic and actually felt like it was interesting enough to post here. It was a scary idea at first but you have to do the things that scare you sometimes or else you'll lack development, y'know?  
> Anyway. Thank you again. <3 This chapter is kind of a filler, it's really short. The next one will be longer because of the extremely cute bonding that's going to happen. So be ready for that.

Mira wasn't born to sit around. She lacked the patience to sit at a desk for hours. When she was younger she was the exact same way. It was hard for her to focus in school without moving, so she'd draw elaborate pictures on blank pages in the back of her notebooks. Her mother put her in dance classes hoping that would satisfy her need to move around. It did, for a bit, but she had a tendency to use her dancing skills as a weapon when the kids at school began to pester her. She vividly remembers being sent home early after beating a boy up who'd stuck pens in her hair. Her mother simply sighed and told her to fight only when someone attacked her, even though she could have sworn that boy was definitely attacking her. 

But now, here she was. 27 years old and sitting at a desk for a living. The irony was revolting.

Her normally dull day was brightened slightly when her cousin introduced her to Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. She'd met prominent agents before, but never anyone as iconic as Steve. Bucky's reputation in the agency was fractured by him being a former -albeit unwilling- Hydra assassin. Some people didn't trust him, consequently he didn't trust many people. He had the full right not to trust people. So, Mira was surprised when he actually started talking to her.

"Do you three always work out this early?" She asked him.

He sighed and glared at Sam. "Well, _they_ do. I'm not the best sleeper, so I'm not the best morning person."

"I'm kind of the same way, it's so hard to be around Sam and not be a morning person."

"I'm standing right here!" Sam exclaimed. 

Mira smiled. "I think my cousin wants us to postpone the rest of this conversation." She signed them in quickly. "I'll be down there at my lunch break in about... an hour if you want to talk some more."

_She wants to talk more?_

"Okay."

"See you guys then!"

Then, Bucky followed behind Sam and Steve as they moved toward the practice areas. Mira let out a deep sigh as life instantly went back to business as usual.

* * *

 

Steve was having a lot of fun teasing Bucky about his interaction with Mira. Bucky put wrist wraps around his hands and tried to ignore him. The thing about Steve is, he's hard as hell to ignore, especially if he's your best friend. "You got her to smile!"

Bucky thought back to it. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"Thank you for being so nice to her, I think you made her day." Sam told him. "Mira has been through a lot and it's gotten even harder over the past few years. Every once in a while I like to pop in and surprise her somehow. Seeing her smile while she's here is a miracle."

Bucky nodded his head. "No problem, she's really nice." _And very pretty..._

"Anyway, she'll be down here in an hour or so, I'm sure she'll want to talk to you more."

* * *

Mira sat at her desk, a spare notebook open while she sat quietly at her desk. She began tracing random lines along the margins of the page, then she drew two eyes. She drew a nose and pouty lips. She drew long dark hair covered by a hood. The finished product was an elaborate portrait of Bucky. She bit her lip and tore the page out, folding it and putting it in her purse where no one could find it. She didn't even want to look at it.

For her, drawing someone was a sign of attraction.

Attraction is a dangerous thing in this business.

 

 


	3. Lunch Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been waiting? Want to kill me? "It's been four days, Kendra! We thought you died!" I know. I get it. I feel you. I've fallen in love with fics that haven't updated in YEARS (it's been hell). Well, I didn't have internet for two days because I moved. So now, I have planned the next 11 chapters and you guys are going to hate me by chapter 14. MWAHAHA!! Anyway, enjoy. It's been too long, I've missed this story. Thank you for your patience. <3 (p.s. leave me comments!!! i am a lonely black chick who spends too much time talking to her cat. i care what you have to say!! your comments could effect the outcomes of the story!)

The hour before a lunch break was always the longest hour. It seemed like the clock was slowly fading away. It seemed even more excruciating when she thought about how much of the excitement in the training area she must have been missing. Mira sat at the desk answering questions of new confused recruits, who'd gotten lost on the way to the secret base, and playing the 'How Many Minutes Until Lunch?' game.  _Okay, so I can leave in 30 minutes. 5 is 1/6 of 30. I can go to lunch in 6 five minute intervals..._

She balanced her pen on her nose and tried to get her eyes to cross. She drew a picture of the front door. She pinned her curly hair up into a messy pony tail that she could only assume looked okay since no one mentioned it to her yet. She'd set an alarm on her phone to go off at the exact minute her lunch break started. She'd already texted the other secretary and told them to wrap up whatever fun they were having so that she could actually enjoy her life for an hour.

_About one minute left. 60 seconds. That's ten seconds 6 times..._

BONG... BONG... BONG...  _Freedom! At last!_ She picked up her phone and her lunch and rushed down to the training area to hang out with Steve, Sam, and Bucky.  _  
_

* * *

The training area was Mira's favorite place in the building. She got to witness some of the greatest agents at work. She got inspired by watching everyone's dedication. The training area itself wasn't exactly pretty. It was dark and cold. It smelled like sweat and had a few bloodstains, but that only gave it character. She'd met tons of friends down here on her lunch breaks; Clint Barton being one of her favorites. He always asked her to put various objects on her head so that he could do target practice and she always threatened to hide his hearing aids if he ever tried anything like that ever. It was a nice friendship.

When she walked down, Sam was sat off to the side watching Bucky spar Steve. Mira sat next to him, leaned her head on his shoulder and bit into an apple. "Have you sparred yet?" She asked.

He nodded and pointed to Bucky. "He messed my back up."

Steve pinned Bucky to the ground. "You shouldn't have turned your back on him!"

"I know that now!"

Mira rolled her eyes. Sam was always so dramatic when he lost. "You'll be fine." After a while, an idea sparked in her head. She was itching to do this... She stood up and started stretching. "I wanna go."

They all raised their eyebrows. "You want to spar one of us?" Bucky asked. She nodded.

Sam stood up and stretched his back. "I'll take her." He said. "I used to kick her ass when we were kids." 

"You sure? I might break your back old man."

He pretended to laugh. "Oh please, as I said, I used to kick your ass when we were kids. Besides, you're tiny as hell!"

"Shit, that's funny, I remember kicking your ass a couple of times when we were teenagers."

"You makin' that shit up."

"We'll see, bruh, we'll see..."

She took off her shoes and stepped onto the mat. Bucky was impressed that she volunteered. If he could bet, his money would be on her. Sam stood in front of her and they both got into position. A fierce, focused look glittered in her eyes. She winked, signalling him to start. Sam picked her up by her waist and she used her body's center of gravity to flip over his head. She landed on her feet and, once she was standing behind him, she pinned his arms behind his back. She kicked him in the back of his knees. He fell face first and she held him on the ground with her foot.

It all happened so fast. Especially for Sam. In fact, it was fast. It only took about fifteen seconds for her to get him on the ground.

Mira caught her breath and stepped off of his back. She looked over to Steve and Bucky who were staring at her with their mouths hanging open. They just watched this woman, who had to be no taller than five foot three and weigh no more than 130 pounds, take Sam down in under thirty seconds. Her demeanor seemed to be a guise to hide the full extent of her power, like a true agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. "I'm a little rusty."

"You're amazing." Bucky told her. He walked over to her. "How'd you learn to do that?"

"I watched a lot of MMA in high school." She told him. "I also took dance, and I got S.H.I.E.L.D training."

He looked over to Sam who had rolled over and was now laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Now, he didn't have to get revenge on him later for waking him up so early in the damned morning. This was great. His eyes almost couldn't help but follow Mira as she sat down next to Steve and took a drink of water. When he thought she'd caught him looking he turned away. 

She smiled. Steve nodded in agreement. Sam scoffed. "Really Steve?!"

"Do you want to come to a bar with us this Saturday?" Steve asked her. "I think we'd all love to have you tag along, even Sam. Bucky and I can't really get drunk so it's always nice to have people around who are normal human beings."

Her face lit up, she nearly choked on her water. She hadn't really left her apartment in weeks. Work had been pretty packed lately. A night at the bar was exactly what she needed. It was the perfect release. "I get it. I would love to!"

Bucky helped Sam up and ran his fingers through his hair. "Great."

Something told her this was the beginning of something awesome.

 


	4. Arm Wrestling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, school is draining my life away.  
> Anyway, I'm really excited for you guys to finally see this chapter and please feel free to tell me what you think in the comments. <3  
> Btw anything in italics is the character's inner thoughts, in case you didn't know.

_Phone? Check... Keys? Check... ID? Check... Pepper spray?... Shit..._

Mira ran to her room to quickly grab her pepper spray off of her dresser. She checked that off of her mental checklist and put it in her bag. Now she was ready to head out to the bar where she was meeting Sam, Steve, and Bucky. She'd only ever met coworkers for drinks at this bar. Oddly enough it seemed like the S.H.I.E.L.D employee hot spot.

She checked her outfit in the mirror once more. A black T-shirt from Kanye West's Yeezus tour that she'd taken a pair of scissors and studs to, making it sleeveless and -at least in her head- twice as hardcore. A pair of dark maroon skinny jeans, her leather jacket, and some cherished Doc Marten's that have seen better days. Her red lipstick popped on her brown skin. Her curly hair seemed uncharacteristically tame as she pinned it to one side. She worked hard on this outfit, mostly to make it seem like she hadn't. She sent a text to Sam telling him she was on her way before heading out the door.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Bucky and Sam sat at their table in the back while Steve ordered the first round of drinks. Bucky was curiously inspecting Sam's phone.

"So, does Mira have one of these?" He asked him. Sam chuckled to himself. "What?"

"Bucky, you know Mira has one, you used mine to call her yesterday."

"Right."

"What did you two even talk about?"

Bucky sighed. "All kinds of stuff. You, S.H.I.E.L.D, relationships..." His mind drifted when he saw Mira walk in through the front door. It was his first time seeing her out of uniform and, although it was strange, he couldn't help but notice how much prettier she seemed when she wasn't on the job. She was happier. It was almost like she was glowing.

She spotted Steve at the bar and hugged him. She asked where Sam and Bucky were and ordered a beer before they walked to the table together. _Bucky cleans up nicely. I wonder how he thinks I look._ She sat in the chair next to Bucky and put her jacket on the back of the seat.

"You three are the most domestic super soldiers I have ever met, it's adorable." She told them. "You go almost everywhere together, like a family."

"God, I hope we're the only super soldiers you've met." Steve said.

"You could come, but you're always busy." Sam replied.

"I don't work on weekends, besides, getting drunk is better with company."

"Except half of this party physically can't get drunk and I have to drive."

Mira raised an eyebrow. "The serum takes away the ability to get drunk?"

"Captain America doesn't get drunk." Steve said jokingly.

"He also has a fat head." Said Bucky.

Mira rolled her eyes. "That's crazy. It makes sense, but it's crazy." She sighed. "It'll be really awkward being the only one drunk."

Bucky took a sip of whiskey and put his arm around her. "If it makes you feel any better, I can act drunk." She giggled and shook her head. "No, really, I will. Just for you."

"Alright, but only because I'm curious."

Bucky leaned over his cup like he'd had too many drinks and looked over to Mira. "Hey girl, wanna arm wrestle?" He slurred his speech and they all couldn't help but laugh.

"Absolutely. I would love to."

"I might hurt you, watch yourself."

"Sounds like you're scared."

"Of a pretty little Doll like you? Nah. I'm scared of hurting you."

"You're still scared." She leaned in close to his face and propped her arm up on the table. "I'll be gentle."

Bucky snapped out of character for a moment to consider it. He really didn't want to hurt her. He would never forgive himself. Her eyes told him this was a sign. It was a sign that she trusted him and felt comfortable with him. He was touched, but he still couldn't try this. "I-I really can't, Mira, I might hurt you with this arm."

She shrugged. "You might... You might not." A smile spread on her face. "The only way to find out is to go for it. I trust you."

He looked at her smile and accepted her challenge. He linked his metal hand with hers. The warmth of her hand and the coldness of the metal contrasted at first, but soon his warmed up.

"Loser mixes hot sauce into their drink." Sam wagered.

"Deal!" Mira exclaimed.

"You're the worst!" Bucky told him.

The match started in Bucky's favor, predictably, but began to show a slight shift when he felt her pushing back with all her strength. For a while they were locked in the middle. Mira tried making silly faces to distract him, but Bucky always used his Winter Soldier focus. He slowly began winning again, Mira's hand was getting tired. Eventually, Bucky pinned it to the table, handing her the hot sauce.

"See, nothing's hurt except my ego."

"You put up a good fight, Doll," he told her.

"I'm just glad you didn't punk out and go easy on me."

"I wouldn't dare." Mira grinned at him and he felt his face flush for a second. _Well, that's new_.

Besides the hot sauce/beer combo, the night went smoothly. Sam and Mira told Steve and Bucky old family stories and they soaked up as much as possible. Bucky slowly began to realize how soothing he found Mira's voice. It sounded like silk, smooth and even, filled with honesty and passion. He noticed how animated she got when telling a story, and how well she told them. All of this only made him want to know more and more about her and have her talk to him forever.

* * *

 

The end of the night came around. Sam drove Mira home and they walked her to her apartment since she was a bit tipsy. She had Sam put her on the couch and asked Bucky to get her a glass of water.

Her apartment was a small one-story studio with a large bookcase and a collection of photos on the walls that she'd taken which Steve and Bucky were instantly drawn to. Sam always told Bucky that photography would be a good hobby for him to take up. Maybe Mira could teach him...

He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the overhead cabinet. The sound of water dripping pounded his eardrums. _How fucking irritating...Wait... I have an idea._

"Do you need someone to fix this sink?!" He asked her.

"Yeah. It's so fucking irritating."

"I could do it."

"Thank you, Bucky. How much?"

"A cup of coffee, maybe with sugar."

"No, I feel compelled to pay you."

"It's no problem, really. I like you, I'll do it for free."

"Okay, when?"

He thought about it and he really just wanted to see her tomorrow. He barely wanted this night to end. His desire to get to know her overrode his questioning why. Little did he know, she felt the same way. "Tomorrow afternoon I'll stop by, fix the sink, and then leave you to actually enjoy your Sunday."

"Sure, I'll be here."

With that, they left her apartment. Steve smiled at Bucky and put his arm around him. Bucky shook his head.

"I know what you're about to say, so don't."

Steve laughed. "What? You don't want me to acknowledge the fact that you have a date tomorrow?"

"I'm fixing her sink, that's all." He lied. "Nothing more to it. It's just a favor for a friend."

Sam scoffed. "Sure, a 'favor for a friend'. I don't buy that shit for a second. You want to spend time with her."

"It almost sounds like you're trying to hook me up with your cousin."

Sam laughed. "Whatever you say, Bucky."

 


	5. Fixer-Upper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, young love. So strange, so awkward, so adorable.  
> This chapter was super fun to write, especially the final scene. So, enjoy everything. Thanks for the support <3

Mira woke up on the couch beside a cup of water she didn’t even drink, a headache that felt like a small hammer tapping on her brain, and a feeling of resentment towards the sunlight that decided to peer through her window.

A teensy hangover.

Just what the doctor ordered.

She honestly couldn’t remember anything after the second drink, if that made her a lightweight so be it, because she sure as hell didn’t feel like one. The clock on her phone said one in the afternoon.

“I should take some aspirin before I shoot myself.” She grumbled. She made her way off the couch and into the kitchen. The bottle of aspirin was right next to a bottle of water with a note that said ‘thought you might need this, your favorite domestic super soldiers Steve and Bucky.’

_Steve and Bucky…_ She popped a single dose of aspirin and washed it down. _Something happened last night with Steve and Bucky… Something I should’ve remembered_.

There was a knock at the door. Mira sighed and went to go answer it, hoping the pills were fast acting because this headache was not even in the area of cute.

She opened the door and Bucky was there with a tool box and a white v-neck t-shirt that was impairing Mira’s judgment more than the alcohol she’d had the night before. “Hey there, you’re here for the… the... help me out.”

“The sink.” He told her.

“The sink, right, right. I remember now.”

“Hangover?”

“Yeah. Not my worst, but not my mildest.”

“You only had two drinks last night.”

Mira sighed and let him in, closing the door behind them. “I’m a lightweight, okay. Don’t tell anyone, I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Doll, I won’t tell a soul.”

Mira was tickled by what appeared to be his new nickname for her. She remembered him calling her that the night before. “‘Doll’? Is that what you call all the girls?”

He shrugged and looked her in the eyes. “The ones that matter.”

She smiled and turned away. “You can get to work, I’ll make you some coffee.”

"No thanks, I already drink too much." They walked into the kitchen and she hopped onto the counter by the sink.

“Thanks for the aspirin, by the way. You and Steve are really sweet.”

He nodded, pulled his hair back, and began working on the sink. At first they were silent. It was the first time they’d been alone together in person. Usually Steve and Sam were here to save them. Neither really knew how to fill the empty space.

“Do you typically fix sinks?” Mira asked.

“I dabble in home repair. Keeps me from completely losing my mind.”

“That’s why I do photography.”

“I was meaning to ask you about that…” He said. “Sam says I should take up a hobby or some shit."

“Sounds like Sam.”

“Would you mind teaching me photography, as a way to preserve my memories?”

Mira giggled. “Is Old Man Plumber Bucky not enough for Avengers Tower?”

Bucky smirked and let out a small laugh. “Guess not.”

She bit her lip. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh.”

He cleared his throat and brushed some stray hair out of his face. “Funny, it’s the first time I’ve heard me laugh in a while, too.”

“It’s a cute laugh, if you were wondering.”

He could barely contain the blush on his face. “I wasn’t, but thank you.”

She looked at his man-bun and started doing what she did best: thinking…”How about we make this a deal?”

“I told you last night you didn’t have to pay me.”

“With money, but how about a haircut? Seems long overdue if you ask me.”

“Um, sure… How about a haircut in exchange for photography lessons?”

“It’s a deal.”

He went back to work on the sink. Mira thought about his laugh and his willingness to let her cut his hair. He really trusted her. It was so soon. Why was it so soon?

“This might sound weird,” she said softly. He turned his attention back to her. “Why is it that you’ve chosen to talk to me? We’ve only known each other for a few days, and Sam says it took a month for you to say more than two sentences to him.”

Bucky thought about it. His mind couldn’t come up with a logical answer. It must’ve been too early in the day…”I’ll tell you later.”

“Alright.”

“Now, I have a question for you.” He told her. He stood up straight and crossed his arms. His blue eyes softened their gaze. “Why aren’t you afraid of me? I mean, every S.H.I.E.L.D agent I’ve met knows that I’m unstable and… not together. Pieces of the Soldier are still in me. So, they distance themselves from me, but you don’t. You said you trusted me last night at the bar, but I don’t get it. Why?”

The question broke Mira’s heart. She knew other agents were wary of Bucky. She knew certain people just didn’t trust him, but she didn’t know he felt like this. She figured he was that good at hiding his emotions. “Because there’s nothing to distrust.”

“You know what I’ve done, right?”

“Yes, Bucky, everybody knows. I also know that Bucky Barnes didn’t do that shit. The Winter Soldier did and, as far as I’m concerned, that thing is dead. You aren’t a weapon, you’re a person and a damn good one. You know, other people would've just given up after all the shit you've been through, but you're recovering and helping the people you once hurt. That is honorable enough to override everything The Winter Soldier has done.”

Bucky could have cried. Aside from Steve and Sam, no one had ever said that to him. Not even Natasha. He wanted to hug her as thanks, but he thought that would have been inappropriate.

“Thank you.” He said. “I don’t know what to say.”

She smiled and jumped off of the counter. “You don’t have to say anything, I meant every word.” She looked over at the now-repaired sink, and sighed knowing Bucky would have to leave. “I guess you should go.”

“Yeah, I guess I should… Unless of course, you need me to repair something else.”

_I wish I did..._ "No, that's the only thing that's been bugging me lately."

Slightly disappointed, he grabbed his toolbox and headed towards the door. “Oh, when should we meet so you can cut my hair?”

“Next Saturday. That’s when I’m free.”

“I’ll see you then, Doll."

“I’ll see you then, Bucky.”

He left, and she smiled with anticipation for the next weekend.

Later, Mira was sketching with colored pencils when she randomly felt inspired. What started out as a set of random lines formed a face, and a clothed body. Beautiful blue eyes... and a metal arm…

_Fuck_ , she drew Bucky again. This time with more detail and vivid color. There was no sense in denying it now. She was falling for Bucky, quickly and dangerously. Her only fear was hurting him in the process.

* * *

 

When Bucky got back, Steve asked him how it went. At first, he was in deep thought and didn't answer. So, Steve asked again. "Did the sink get fixed?"

Bucky ran his hand through his hair and wondered how Mira's hands would feel running through it, before shaking off the thought. "It did. Mira's giving me photography lessons and a haircut next Saturday."

"Hmm, a haircut?" He asked. "How intimate."

Bucky grinned. "Yeah..."

Steve smiled. "You two are getting really close. Who knows what could happen?"

"Very true." Bucky didn't know what could happen, but he definitely knew what he wanted to happen. His only fear was hurting her in the process.

* * *

 

******_2:00 AM, Avengers Tower, Sam Wilson's room._ **

Sam and Steve were like two gossipy teenage girls.

Two gossipy teenage girls with government clearance.

"I can't believe this is actually working," Steve told Sam in a whisper. 

Sam smiled. "Neither can I! I mean the whole plan was a long-shot but, the way I see it, they'll be sleeping together by the end of the month."

Steve sighed. "Good call, Sam. As usual, of course."

"Honestly, this is phase one." He told him. "Phase two is convincing Bucky to move in with Mira. I nicknamed this 'The Ikea Phase'."

They laughed. Steve lowered his voice again and leaned forward. "I'm just happy to see them happy."

"That's the gospel truth."


	6. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to upload this and chapter 7 yesterday in celebration of Thanksgiving but then I realized that neither chapter is very festive so I held them off.  
> By 'not very festive' I mean so depressing that I low-key can't even believe I wrote them and decided they were okay to show to you.  
> Yeah.  
> Enjoy.

The shears were on the table, the towel was around his neck, and Mira was smiling at him. Yet, somehow, Bucky managed to feel nervous about this haircut, especially when she’d jokingly threatened to shave him bald an hour before.

“Bucky, I promise I won’t hurt you, I could cut my own hair if I wanted to.” She assured him. “Besides, I’m only taking off about an inch, nothing to worry about. You probably won’t even notice.” He looked down at the shears. “Standard barber’s shears, I won’t hurt you.”

He took a deep breath. “I trust you.”

Mira smiled. “Good, because I trust you.” She stood behind him and ran her fingers through his freshly blow-dried hair, pulling it back away from his face. She hummed a gentle song to relax him and separated the hair at the nape from the rest. She slowly combed through it, making sure no extra hairs were flying into the shear’s line of sight. “It’s funny, I feel like I’ve known you a thousand years, yet I don’t even know what music you like.”

“All music.” He replied.

“That’s a cop-out! Do you like polka?”

“Fuck no.”

She laughed and made the first cut, he didn’t even notice. “That’s what I thought, Barnes.”

“What about you, Doll? What are you into?”

“Everything but polka… and jazz. I could never get into jazz, that’s something that’s always disappointed my mom.”

“I can’t imagine you disappointing anyone.”

She blushed. “Stop flirting with me, Bucky.”

“I’ll try, but I make no promises.”

The haircut was finished in no time with care and precision. Bucky looked at himself in the bathroom mirror while Mira swept the floor. He almost couldn’t believe this was him. His hair was only about an inch longer than it was in pictures from the 1940s. He looked about ten years younger. It’s amazing what a good haircut can do.

He walked out of the bathroom, Mira emptied the hair-filled dustpan into the trash and slowly turned to him. “Is it horrible? Be honest and I’ll fix it.”

“No, it’s great.” He noticed her Nikon camera sitting on the kitchen counter. “Are we starting the photography lessons today.”

She nodded. “No time like the present, right?” She went into the bathroom to pull her hair into a ponytail. “Besides, I’ve got nothing better to do, and we have a whole three hours of sunlight left. Is that okay with you?”

Bucky grinned. Spending an entire day with Mira? Why wouldn’t he take that opportunity? “Of course.”

They headed out into the city wearing unintentionally identical black hoodies. Mira had her camera hanging around her neck, bopping along to the song in her head. Bucky followed closely behind, mostly as a protective measure. He nearly beat a couple of gross cat callers on Broadway before she held him back and told him people like that aren’t worth the lawsuit.

They arrived in Times Square and Mira stood in front of him with the camera in her hands. “Welcome to your first lesson.”

“Really? This is a little cliche… and crowded.”

“Well, the beauty of photography is that you can choose what the focus is. You can pick a subject and make it stand out in front of the chaos of everything going on around it. Here, I’ll show you.” She pointed her camera to an aging man in a Captain America suit, chasing kids around for pictures. She set her camera’s focus on him and took a perfect shot of him lighting a cigar. “Steve really let himself go…”

She showed Bucky the picture and he stifled a laugh before taking the camera from her to try for himself. “Stand in front of the Disney store.”

“You’re making me the focus?”

“Why not?”

“Well… alright.” She bit her lip and stood in front of the Disney store like he said.

He focused the camera on her and waited for a passing family to walk by before taking the shot. He looked at the picture and grinned. This woman could be a model… This is still no match for the real thing. “Not bad.”

She ran over to look at the picture for herself. “Yeah, it’s not bad at all, Bucky. This might be the best picture of me to date.”

They took a few more pictures in Times Square before moving on to Macy’s. Then they photographed the area around Avengers Tower. Then, they took a train to Brooklyn and took pictures of the neighborhood where Bucky and Steve grew up, mainly the alleys where Bucky broke up Steve’s fights.

After they’d completely covered the city, the sun had long set so they headed back to Mira’s place with a hot box of pizza. Nothing finished a day of work quite like pizza.

They sat on the couch looking at the pictures and observing the details on Mira’s computer. Bucky was mentally taking notes as Mira told him where he could improve. “This is good, but the lighting was off. That’s not your fault though, we had no professional lighting.”

He nodded. “I really think Old Steve was the best shot of the day.”

Mira laughed and pulled up the internet. “ I know! I’m about to email it to Tony.”

“Why Tony?”

“Tony Stark is an ass. He’d take the picture and blow it up and hang it in every corridor. I’d be an idiot not to send it to him.”

They checked the time. 10:30 PM. It seemed like it was just 4 o’clock.

“Wow, that was quick.” Mira yawned and stretched and looked outside. “It’s really late, and I know JARVIS is extra vigilant after 8, do you wanna crash here? I don’t mind. I have extra clothes from an ex who was about your size.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why do you have his clothes?”

“I always figured I’d burn them like Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale, but it never happened.” She handed him a blanket. “My couch is your couch. I’ll call Steve so he doesn’t have a panic attack and faint or something.”

She handed him a pair of pajamas, and reminded him where her room was if he needed anything, before passing out on her bed. Bucky reminisced on the pleasant day and drifted into sleep…

* * *

 

_It’s cold… Why is it so fucking cold? Feels like Russia._

_He opened his eyes and found himself in a gray room. No windows, no doors. There was blood splatter on the walls. He’d done this. He’d have to have done this. This is where Hydra used to send him to kill people where no one could see, where no one could hear…_

_He looked over to the steel door, the door handle was covered in blood. Whoever he just killed had at least attempted to escape. The problem is, no one escapes The Winter Soldier. If they do, the wounds are too severe to save their lives. The Winter Soldier is a highly-efficient killing machine, his results are impressive and he leaves no trace behind._

_He turned to the other side of the room and finally spotted the victim. He wanted to vomit… It was Mira. Her throat had been slashed, her clothes were torn, her beautiful face was severely beaten. The light had gone from her brown eyes._

_He crawled over to her and knelt beside her lifeless body. He pulled her into his arms and tried to wipe the blood off of her face, but there was more blood on his hands. He ran his fingers over her soft, cold lips. He longed for her to wake up so he could kiss her and tell her how sorry he was for hurting her. “I can’t believe I did this to you, Doll…” He squeezed her tight. “You trusted me...You trusted me… You trusted me…”_

_The door opened, and Alexander Pierce walked in with his usual team of personal Hydra henchmen and a smug grin on his face. “I knew you could do it.”_

_“Go fuck yourself.”_

_Pierce sighed. “Wipe him.”_

_The Hydra guard ran over to grab him. “Fuck you! DON’T TAKE ME AWAY FROM HER!”_

_“You can’t sit in there with a corpse forever.”_

* * *

 

Mira heard Bucky run in and jolted awake. He was sweating and his eyes were red from crying. She could see his arms shaking at his sides. His chest rose and fell with heavy, panicked breath. It’s like he’d seen a ghost. He had seen a ghost.

“What’s going on?” He stared at her and opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. “Come here, Bucky.” She patted the space next to her. He walked over and sat on the bed. She pulled him close and wiped the tears from his face. “What happened?”

Bucky looked up at her and ran his fingers across her warm face, trying to get the image of her corpse out of his mind and remind himself that she was very much alive. “You’re here.” She nodded.

He dug his face in her shoulder and wept. She pulled the sheets over him. “It’s okay, I’m here. I’m always here.”

He laid his head on her chest and listened to her heartbeat. He couldn’t fall asleep again.


	7. Questions

When Mira woke up, she found herself wrapped in Bucky’s arms. His eyes were open. _Oh God, he didn’t sleep_. She didn’t really feel like moving from this position. She felt safe and completely warm.

“Good morning.” She said quietly.

“Mornin’” He replied.

“Did you get any sleep?”

“No.”

“Are you tired?”

“No, I’m used to not sleeping.” He sighed. “You being here helped me a lot though. I’ve had nightmares before, but the one from last night was definitely one I’ll be talking to Sam about later.”

“It was that horrible?”

“I can’t get it out of my head.”

Her stomach rumbled loudly. It startled both of them. “Would breakfast help at all?”

“No, but it would be nice.”

She looked down at his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, as if he were scared he would lose her **.** She giggled. “You have to let me go first.”

“Do I?”

“Yes, I can’t cook with a grown man dangling from my waist. It’s a distraction.”

“I’m not distracting.”

“Trust me, you are super distracting.”

“How?”

“Bucky, don’t make me punch you.”

“Tell me.”

“Because you’re kind of adorable.”

There was a short period of silence. “Oh…”

“Now that you have sufficiently caused me humiliation, time for pancakes.” She squeezed her way out of his arms and walked to the kitchen. "You should take a shower, by the way. You smell like hell."

Bucky sat up and observed her bedroom. _When she said that she draws a lot she really meant that_. Her artwork covered the wall around the door. It was mostly friendly faces. He even recognized a few: Nick Fury, Natasha and Clint, Tony Stark, Sam. He couldn't find himself. He decided not to worry too much about that and got up to shower.

* * *

 

Mira's greatest fear was Bucky finding her sketches of him and realizing that they were drastically different from the other ones hanging on her walls. They were colorful and twice as detailed. He could never know. It's too creepy.

Breakfast smelled amazing. Mira tried her hardest to make it special since Bucky had such a rough night. Fluffy pancakes covered in apples and syrup, sausage, and two steamy mugs of hot cocoa. It was comfort food, it was fattening, and it was going to be so fun to eat.

Bucky could smell it from the bathroom. It filled him with a feeling of hearth and bliss. He wrapped the towel around his waist and poked his head around the corner to see what it was.

"You can eat when you're dressed." She told him.

He blatantly ignored her and went further into the kitchen to get a better look at the food. Mira tried her best not look at him, but it just wasn't working out. His toned body was still dripping with water, emitting steam. The only thing standing between Mira and completely inappropriate conduct was a towel. The regular intensity of his stare didn't help either. It was like something out of a cheesy fan fiction.

"Get dressed and you can eat." She told him once again.

He groaned. "Fine." He walked into her room and put on some jeans before noticing a piece of paper stuck between her headboard and the wall. "Now, what are you?..." He gently pushed the headboard forward and pulled the folded paper out. He sat on Mira's bed and unfolded it.

It was a drawing of him. Steve had drawn him before, but Mira drew him in color. Bright shades of orange and red coming from the center of his body and moving outward like an inner light or a soul. A grin on his face and his hair pulled back like the day he fixed her sink. She made him look beautiful, inside and out. He had to ask her about it. It was the sweetest thing he'd seen in a long time. He put the drawing in his back pocket and went to get breakfast.

* * *

 

Mira smiled. "Okay, so why is the top half of your body not clothed?"

He shrugged. "Didn't think about it."

"Whatever, just come get a plate."

He sat next to her at the counter and started eating everything. He must have been drained from the nightmare because he was ramming through the pancakes like nobody's business. He finished long before her.

She looked at the clean plate and empty mug and laughed. "Were you hungry?"

"A little." He ran his fingers through his hair and smiled at her. "Can I ask you about something?"

She nodded. "Shoot." He pulled the drawing out of his pocket and the blood drained from Mira's face. "Shit."

"Why didn't you ever show this to me?"

"I didn't want to scare you off." She replied. "I really like you and I like being around you, but I know how this looks and how creepy it is and I was afraid that you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore."

He shook his head and leaned in close to her. "Creepy is someone asking if they can shine my arm, which has happened to me multiple times." He told her. He unfolded the drawing. "This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me."

"You like it?"

"I love it."

Mira let out a sigh of relief. "How did you even find it?"

"You're shit at hiding things." In a moment of sweetness, he kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks."

She smiled like teenage girl who just talked to her high school crush for the first time. Her heart, cliche as it is, skipped a beat. "You don't have to just kiss me on the cheek, you know."

He looked down and backed away from her slightly. "If I kiss you anywhere else I might take it too far and hurt you."

"What if I kiss you?"

He looked down at her lips with wide eyes. "I don't know what I'll do."

"We'll just have to find out..."

She gently pressed her soft lips to his. At first he was surprised, then he slowly melted into the kiss, closing his eyes and pulling her closer by her waist. The nightmare seemed like a distant memory. His only thoughts were the sweetness of her lips and the warmth of her body. Then, suddenly, she pulled away.

"That's as far as we'll go, if you want." She told him. "It's up to you, Bucky. Tell me if you want to stop."

_I don't want to stop, but I have to... for her sake_. "We should stop."

Mira looked a little disappointed, but she obliged to his request. "That's fine, you aren't ready. Tell me when you are."

_God, I'm an idiot._

He bit his lip and went to put on a shirt. He regretted so much, but this regret was going to hang over him.

Mira wondered if she crossed the line by kissing him. She just couldn't help herself. She felt like a juvenile asshole. Clearly, Bucky wasn't ready. How could she think he would be?

She honestly just wanted to forget all of this ever happened.

 


	8. Dinner With The Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony throws a party, Clint ruins everyone's mood, a sweeeetttttt reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot goes on in this chapter. We've come so far.  
> When we last left our heroes, they kissed and... well, that's it. Things didn't get very far at all.  
> Now two weeks have passed, and they've been doing a lot of thinking, mostly about each other.  
> Tell me what ya think!

Avoiding someone is hard. Avoiding someone who is friends with your cousin and some of your friends after you kissed him against your better judgement is a lot harder. Avoiding someone at a dinner party? Impossible.

The paper Mira held in her hands was an invitation to the impossible. Sam and Steve invited her to Tony Stark’s ‘Why The Hell Not?’ Dinner Party after she’d been avoiding Bucky and almost all of their mutual friends for two weeks. It wasn’t exactly mature, and it didn’t make her feel any better, but it did give her time to think. If she ever worked up the courage to talk to Bucky again, she’d apologize. Until then, there was a party to get ready for.

As was tradition with Tony Stark’s parties, it was probably best to bring one or two good weapons as all the guests were being targeted by someone somewhere at any given point in time. Mira had a dagger strapped to her thigh underneath the short skirt of her red dress, and a gun in her purse. Clint called her earlier in the day and asked her to bring red wine, so she did because she didn’t want to see Clint’s sad face.

Once she had everything, she waited for whoever was supposed to pick her up to pick her up. All Sam said on the phone is “one of us will be there, don’t worry.” She just hoped it wasn’t Bucky because that would make the party awkward before it even began.

Finally there was a knock on the door. “I’m coming!” She ran to open and to her pleasant surprise it was Natasha. “Hello gorgeous.”

They hugged and Mira locked the door before following Nat out of the apartment. “You’re not so bad yourself, Wilson. How long has it been since we last saw each other?”

“Three months, I think.” She replied. “Too damn long.”

“We’re busy women, nothing wrong with that. I just wish we had time to hang out like we did when you were just a trainee. Avengers Tower is a sausage fest.”

“We need to schedule a spa day.”

“Sounds good to me, is that red wine?”

“Yup.”

“Thank you, we’re going to need it.”

* * *

 

Bucky didn’t really feel like getting dressed, he wasn’t into parties, dinner parties especially. It just wasn’t a good time for him to be interacting with other people, The Avengers were no exception. He was a little concerned that Mira was avoiding him because of the kiss. He only blamed himself because he desperately wanted to kiss her, and then he just froze up. He thought he was protecting her, she must have thought he was rejecting her.

“You know you can’t stay in here forever.” Sam told him.

He shrugged. “I can try.”

“Come on, man, Mira’s coming! You love Mira.”

“Yeah, I doubt she’d want to see me.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “What did you do?”

“It’s not what I did do as much as what I didn’t do.”

Sam sat down on his bed, because he knew this was going to be a very long story. “Go on…”

“Remember when I stayed over her place after she gave me a haircut?”

“Right…”

“She kissed me.”

Sam grinned. “Is that the end of the story?”

Bucky shook his head. “Then, she asked me if I wanted to go any further, and I really did want to but I said no anyway. Now she’s avoiding me and I think I really fucked this up.”

“Why did you say no?” He glanced at Bucky’s arm. “Oh, you’re afraid of-”

“Yes, I’m afraid of the Winter Soldier coming out and hurting her.”

“I knew it. Bucky! You have way more control than you think you have.” He assured him. “The only thing remotely Winter about you is your anger issues, and you only ever put those to good use. My cousin obviously is really into you. Go for it. If anything goes wrong, she’s a tough chick, she can handle herself.”

He gave him a weak smile. “Thanks, Sam. As usual.”

Bucky needed to hear that, he needed that jolt of reassurance. _Now how am I gonna explain myself to Mira?..._

* * *

 

The party was already in full swing when Mira and Natasha arrived. Full swing, of course,  meant that Tony started to DJ.

“Ah, the Better Wilson has arrived!” Tony said into a microphone. “She brought red wine! Turn up!”

Mira cringed with secondhand embarrassment. “Don’t ever say that again, Tony.”

“Noted.”

Sam ran over to her and nearly tackled her when he saw her. “Why haven’t you been answering my calls, huh?”

She playfully poked him in the forehead. “Why hasn’t that big head gotten any smaller since we were kids?” She put the wine on the table. “To answer your question, I’ve been busy.”

“Busy avoiding someone?”

She narrowed her eyes at him and pulled him off to the side. “What do you know, Sam?”

“He told me everything.”

“He told you that I kissed him?”

“Yes.”

Mira looked down at her feet. “Does he hate me? I feel like I pressured him.”

“No, but he sure as hell hates himself.”

“Why? It’s my fault!”

“Wow. You two are made for each other…”

Tony paused the music. “In a strange turn of events, Metallica has joined the party!”

Uncomfortable with the shout out, and the shirt he borrowed from Sam, Bucky scanned the room for Mira. Her eyes shot up and met his. There were no words to describe how apologetic they both seemed. Sam stepped out of the way while Bucky slowly walked up to Mira.

“I’m so sorry.” He told her.

She pulled him into a tight hug. “You shouldn’t be.” He wrapped his arms around her. The whole party watched in shock. Bucky never hugged anyone before, at least not in public. “We need to talk after the party, okay?”

“I’m just glad you’re talking to me. Please don’t avoid me like that again, Doll.”

“I won’t, you’re my best friend.”

She squeezed his waist gently and looked up at him. “I never realized how tall you are.”

“You’re just short.”

“You’re just abnormal.”

* * *

 

Everyone sat around the table with Steve, Pepper, and Bruce setting up the plates and glasses while Natasha and Mira got the food ready to be put out. Natasha took the liberty of bringing out every bottle of wine and beer she could find.

“This party is going to make The Avengers the poster children of alcoholism.” Mira joked.

Nat laughed. “What about the two Super-Soldiers that can’t even get drunk?”

“They are the poster children for designated drivers.”

“Speaking of which, what was that whole thing with Bucky about?”

Mira smiled. “It’s a long story, it doesn’t really matter anymore.”

“I’ve never seen him hug anyone, it has to matter.”

“I’ll tell you later, maybe.”

Pepper walked in with an extra wine glass. “Bucky saved you a seat, Mira.” She said. “Just thought I should tell you.”

“We’ve been friends for almost a year, and that’s how you greet me?” Mira said sarcastically. “You people are really pre-occupied with me and Bucky. Is Tony not entertaining enough?”

Pepper grinned and put the glass in the overhead cabinet. “Don’t tell him that…”

“We just think your friendship is cute, is that so bad?”

Mira raised an eyebrow. “There’s a rumor that The Avengers like to play matchmaker sometimes… Is that what’s going on here?”

The two redheads scoffed. “Absolutely not!” Pepper exclaimed.

Mira smirked and walked out with the mac and cheese. “Whatever you say...”

* * *

 

The dinner was going great. Steve and Sam told everyone about their last mission, Tony tried to one-up them by talking about what he and Bruce were up to in the lab, Bucky made heart-eyes at Mira the entire time, Natasha watched him from across the table, it was a normal dinner party at Avengers Tower.

Until Tony got an idea.

“Let’s play Truth or Dare!” He announced.

“Oh God, is this middle school?” Sam asked.

Tony grinned. “Sounds like someone has something to hide. You’re up first then, truth or dare?”

Sam rolled his eyes and took a quick sip of wine. “Truth.”

“Have you ever used your wings to pick up women?”

Mira burst with laughter, causing her to choke on the wine. Sam glared at her. “You’re choking cause you’re mean, and no, I haven’t.”

“That’s not true.” Steve, Natasha, Mira, and Bucky said at once.

“It’s nice to know who my friends are.” He turned to Mira. “Truth or dare, cuz?”

“Truth.” She replied “Nothing to hide.”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty much.”

He crossed his arms. “Have you ever wondered what Tony Stark looks like naked?”

“You’re a dick.”

“Answer the question.”

“Haven’t we all, besides the woman who doesn’t have to, wondered what this man looks like naked?” She asked.

Tony smiled proudly. “The feeling is mutual Agent Wilson.”

“Strangely, that doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“I am also a little guilty of wondering what Mira and Tony look like naked, just thought I’d put that out there.” Clint admitted. “I was afraid she would go to me next.”

Mira shook her head. “I was actually going to go to Natasha, but now that you’ve already embarrassed yourself, how much worse can it get?”

It got so much worse. In fact, by the time Clint finished his response to Mira’s Truth or Dare question, about forty minutes had passed and everyone was either too mortified to not listen or trying to distract themselves by starting new conversations and getting drunk.

“...and that’s what happened in Budapest. Well, the second time.”

Mira had her mouth covered in shock. “What the hell?”

“That’s always the reaction to the story.” Natasha told her.

“That’s not at all the answer I expected.” Bucky said.

Tony’s face looked extremely concerned. “Is anybody else suddenly not hungry anymore?” He pushed his plate away. Everyone but Clint himself did the same.

“Ten bucks says he does worse things when he’s drunk.” Bucky whispered in Mira’s ear.

She smiled. “We’ll try that at the next party, this one is almost over.”

“Want me to drive you home?” He asked.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea since the woman who drove me here is drunk off her ass.”

Natasha gasped. “I am not.” Her breath smelled like pure wine.

“Yes you are.”

“I’ll drive you, just tell me when you’re ready to go.”

Tony sighed. “If I were you, I’d go now. This party ended at the point when Clint told us how he saw that guy’s toe bone.”

Clint started laughing. “That’s the best part!”

Mira tried not to look too terrified by Clint’s amusement at the memory of a man’s toe bone sticking out of his foot. “Yeah, it’s time to go.”

* * *

 

_**Avengers Tower. 10:13 PM. The Dinner Table** _

The matchmaking conspirators met at the table: Sam, Steve, Natasha, and Pepper. They’d planned this for weeks before Mira and Bucky even met for the first time.

“They went home together.” Pepper whispered.

Nat nodded. “Even better, he offered to take her home. They are so gonna fuck.”

“I’d be surprised if they didn’t by now, the way Bucky was looking at her all night.” said Sam. “He is whipped.”

“I'm happy they're together, but I'm starting to feel kind of bad gossiping like this,” Steve admitted.

“Dude, this whole thing was your idea.”

“I know…”

 


	9. Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we all are at the smut chapter. I've been polishing this shit since about chapter five, so I hope it isn't horrendous. I really, really hope you guys love this!!!  
> (In case you needed any more of a warning there is graphic sexual content in this chapter.)  
> So sexual.  
> Enjoy!  
> Russian In This Chapter:  
> моя любовь- My love  
> пожалуйста- Please  
> возлюбленный- Lover

The apartment was strangely cool. Mira decided not to turn the lights on since the moonlight lit the room up just enough. The place felt much more personal than it had weeks before.

She kicked off her heels and went into the kitchen."You want some water?" She asked Bucky.

"No, I'm not thirsty, but thank you."

She poured herself a glass of water and returned to him in the living room. "I'm glad you drove me because we didn't get time to talk at the Tower. I was concerned we’d never get any time alone tonight.”

"I know. That's how crazy that place is all the time."

"I can believe it, how do you cope?"

He shrugged. "For a while I would find reasons to come here."

Mira smiled. "So fixing the sink, and the haircut were excuses to come over?"

"Pretty much."

"Very cute, Barnes." She put the water on her coffee table and sat with him on the couch. "Listen, I'm sorry for avoiding you for two weeks, and I’m sorry if kissing you made things awkward between us. I really love having you around, and I’d rather we not have this friction between us."

"No, I'm sorry for not being honest with you."

"When have you ever not been honest with me?"

 _Here we go..._ "When you kissed me and I told you I wanted to stop."

Mira's eyes widened and she leaned in to make sure she heard him correctly. "Explain..."

Bucky grinned and moved her hair out of her face. "I didn't want to stop."

"So, wait," she said. "You wanted to go further that whole time. Why did you say no?"

"I was afraid of hurting you. I was afraid of... Y'know... Winter coming out."

"Winter coming out?"

"Yeah, sometimes my nightmares make me relapse. I don't want to relapse while we're in bed together and end up hurting you, I'd never forgive myself."

She gasped. "That's why you didn't sleep that night..."

"I was afraid that if I went to sleep the weapon would wake up."

Mira paused and looked up at him. His face was shaded in guilt and a fear that she’d never want to be near him again. "Funny thing is, now that you told me that, I want you twice as much as I did before."

Bucky looked and felt extremely confused. "What do you mean?"

"I wanted to have sex with you two weeks ago, but then I thought you didn't want it so I backed off. Now that I know you were only trying to protect me, I really want to have sex with you."

"You sure, Doll?"

“I’ll show you just how sure I am.” She pulled him into a heated kiss. Their mouths tasted like wine and sweet mint. Her hands held to the sides of his face, she ran her fingers over the rough stubble on his face.

“Do you have protection?” He asked between rough kisses.

“I’m on the pill.”

He curled his arm around her tiny waist and pulled her on top of him. She looked into his lust-filled darkened eyes and ran her hands underneath his shirt, tracing her fingers over his muscular body, and lifting his shirt over his head.

“You are so beautiful, James Buchanan Barnes.”

“Sounds like you need to look in the mirror sometime, Mira Wilson, because you are the most beautiful woman on the planet.” She leaned down and planted hungry kisses along his neck causing him to let out deep groans. She could feel his gratitude growing through his pants. He reached for the zipper of her dress and pulled it down slowly. “Strip for me.”

Mira stood up and kept her eyes locked to Bucky’s as she slipped off the red dress revealing her beautiful curvy body in a lacy black bra and panties, and a knife in a leather holster around her thigh. Bucky’s eyes couldn’t help but wander to the holster.

“Is that a knife?”

“Yeah.”

“That is so sexy.”

She giggled and took the holster off before straddling his lap, taking his hands and placing them on her hips. She grabbed onto his shoulders and rolled her hips on his growing erection. He bit his bottom lip and gripped tighter on her hips, begging her to grind faster, and she let out soft moans as she felt heat and wetness pooling between her own legs.

“If you keep going on like that, we’ll finish before we even really start...” Bucky said in between heavy breaths.

“Shit...show me what you want to do.”

He stood up and lifted her up, carrying her to the bedroom as quickly as he could. He threw her on the bed and climbed on top of her, kissing her from her lips to her neck to her stomach. Her moans became more vocal as his kisses got lower. He kissed her hips and her legs before moving to the insides of her thighs.

He ran his tongue over her wet panties. She gasped with pleasure and propped herself up on her elbows to watch him go to work.

Bucky moved his flesh and blood fingers to move the fabric of her panties out of his way. He kept his mouth on her clit and used his metal fingers to rub circles on her womanhood. The contrast of cold metal to warm wetness made Mira squeal and Bucky grinned, completely satisfied with driving her mental.

"That feels... Fuck..." She moaned.

She tangled her fingers in his hair. He used his tongue to flick her clit while making sure to tease her entrance with his fingers. Every movement he made was driving her crazy. Her eyes were half-lidded, her grip on his hair became tight. Then, he easily slipped two fingers into her.

This was her undoing and she knew it. His tongue travelled her womanhood as he pumped his metal fingers into her. She moved her hips forward to meet him. The only sounds to be heard were her sounds of passion as she felt her climax building in her core. He looked up at her, taking in the glorious image of her face as she lost all control.

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna cum.” She just barely managed to hiss between heavy breaths.

“Not yet.” He growled. He took his fingers out of her, leaving her empty and desperate for him to fill her. In a swift move, he ripped her panties from her body, then took off his pants and underwear revealing his rather impressive erect manhood. “Take off your bra, Doll, I want to see all of you.”

She did as he told her and he admired the wonder of her body. _She’s so perfect, and she’s mine…_ He wanted to remember all of this, all of her. He wanted to her to remember, too.

He crawled between her legs, angling himself at her entrance, and kissed her gently on her lips. She moaned in his mouth and their eyes stayed locked together as he slowly pushed into her for the first time. Her hands went to his back as he pulled out slightly and pushed back in, allowing more of his erection to fit inside. She felt so warm and tight around him that it elicited a deep grunt from the back of his throat.

“Am I hurting you?” He asked.

It seemed impossible to Mira that a man this tough and strong could possibly be so tender with her. It was like he was a dream, he was a figment of her imagination.“You couldn’t hurt me if you tried.”

He thrust into her, taking his time at first. He moved at a lovingly slow pace inside her, he wanted to make sure she was comfortable. “You feel so fucking amazing, Mira… God….” He sped up his pace and her nails dug into his skin. He buried his head into the crook of her neck, biting and sucking on her skin, leaving purple love marks on her shimmering brown skin.

The thrusts quickened even more, the sound of their skin colliding echoed off of her bedroom walls. All Bucky could think to say at this point was slurred Russian, her name, and “fuck”.

Mira left scratches on his back, moaning his name. The pleasure was like nothing she’d felt before. Once again, she could feel her climax building. “Yes, B-Bucky…”

“моя любовь… Say my name…”

“Bucky…”

He thrust into her even harder. Hitting her g-spot at the perfect pace. “Louder...пожалуйста…”

Her moans were now screams as the build up to her orgasm shook her body.“BUCKY!”

With that, she came. As her walls tightened around him, he felt his own climax moving through him. Within a few hard thrusts, he released his hot seed into her. He held onto her tightly and pumped all of his orgasm into her. Once he was finished, they laid there together. He was inside of her, her hands still holding onto his back. His forehead pressed to her's. The post-orgasm haze covered their smiling faces.

“That was…You are… Wow…” Mira said.

“You’re pretty ‘wow’ yourself…” He pulled out and collapsed on the bed beside her. She turned to face him, laying her head on his chest. “Hell, maybe next time I’ll take you on a real date first.”

She smiled at him. “Next time? I like the sound of that… Boyfriend.”

His eyes widened. “Say that again.”

She bit her lip and climbed on top of him. “Boyfriend.”

He sat up with a mischievous smirk on his face. “One more time.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned down to kiss him. “Boyfriend.” He kissed around her breasts, obviously they were far from done for the night. “What’s the Russian word for boyfriend?”

“возлюбленный.”

“My sexy soldier возлюбленный.”

“You won’t be able to walk in the morning, Doll…”

 


	10. Morning Glow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. Sorry for the delay, I had no internet for a bit. Also this chapter was harder for me to write than usual. It didn't sound quite right, and I'm still not sure I got the pacing right, but I hope it meets your expectations. Thanks for sticking around <3

Mira had a fear of waking up the morning after being intimate with someone and finding that they weren't there, mostly because it happened to her so many times before. Every single time it hurt, it felt like they'd used her. In the back of her mind she knew Bucky wasn't like that, but fears are fears.

She woke up and, even before opening her eyes, she reached out to touch Bucky's chest. She had to make sure he was there. He looked down at her and took her hand in his. He thought she looked absolutely radiant with no make-up and her curly hair covering her face without any order. She always worked so hard to maintain her beauty routine, it was a pleasant treat for him to see her without any decoration. "Good morning to you, too."

She smiled and opened her eyes. "Sorry, it's a habit." She sat up. "I'm one of those sob stories who always gets ditched the morning after."

"Those were one night stands." He told her. He sat up and pressed a protective kiss to her forehead. "Those guys were assholes who didn't know how good they had it. I actually care about you. I can't explain it, honestly."

"What do you mean? Sounds plain to me."

He smiled at her. "I don't get attached to people easily, Mira. For a while, after I found Steve, everything I did felt mindless. It was all still that Winter Soldier survival mentality. Emotions felt like a waste. Sam is helping me work through that leftover bullshit, but I've never felt something like what I feel with you, it feels new. It's why I acted like such a dick and told you I didn't want you."

Mira kissed him on the cheek and crawled out of bed. "You didn't act like a dick." She started getting dressed for a very relaxing day. "You're in recovery. I wasn't surprised that you said no because I didn't know why you would want to have sex so soon."

Bucky bit his lip. "Well it definitely didn't hurt my recovery."

She giggled and they both looked at the faint bruises on her wrists. "You got a little rough at the end."

"Did I hurt you?"

"It was nice pain." She started walking out of the room then stopped and turned around. "Did you sleep?" He shook his head. She sighed. "Okay... Well, do you want breakfast?"

He stood up and stretched his arms out. "No, I'm not really hungry, but I was thinking about cooking for you."

Mira smiled and pretended to swoon. "You are so cute!"

He blushed. "I am not cute."

"You're adorable!" He walked over to her and put his hands around her waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her toes to kiss him. "Even the way you kiss me is cute."

"I could kiss you forever."

* * *

 

Bucky told Mira to 'sit on her beautiful ass and watch tv' while he cooked. This was a girl who had never been cooked for. It made her doubt that Bucky was real even more than she already had.

Everything smelled so good that she wanted to peek inside and see what he was making. She walked in and he immediately ushered her out.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked.

"I wanted to see what you were cooking."

"You'll see it when I take it out for you to eat."

"It smells so good!"

"So do you..." He tugged on the waistline of her sweatpants with his finger.

She grinned. "Not now. My thighs are still sore from last night."

"Alright, Doll." He went back into the kitchen.

There was a knock on the door. _I left something at the tower_. She looked into the peep hole and saw Sam and Natasha smiling back. _I guess this is how they're finding out..._ She let them in and they immediately smelled the cooking.

"What brings y'all here?" She asked.

Sam put her cell phone on the coffee table. "You left that on the dining room table." He sniffed the air. "By the way, have you seen Bucky?"

Mira laughed. "Have I seen Bucky?"

Bucky popped out of the kitchen. "Did you call me, Doll?" He saw Sam and Natasha. "What are you two doing here?"

"They came to return my cell phone and asked me if I've seen you."

Bucky grinned. "She's seen me."

"You two have been here the whole night?" Asked Nat.

Mira bit her lip. "Yeah..."

The two unexpected guests exchanged a knowing glance, but Sam still had to ask. "Doing what, may I ask?"

Bucky went back into the kitchen. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Sam smiled at his cousin. "You and Bucky..." She nodded. He picked her up. "I'm so happy for you! You're finally not with a complete dick!"

“I know! Listen, please don’t make this a big deal.” She begged. “I don’t think either of us wants to deal with Avengers Tower knowing we’re together, not yet.”

“Especially Stark!” Bucky added from the kitchen.

“We were never here.” Natasha said, pulling Sam towards the door. “Enjoy your morning.” With that, they left.

Bucky came out of the kitchen with a hot plate of waffles covered in apples and sugar, with bacon on the side. Mira’s stomach rumbled at the sight. He put it on the table and pulled the chair out for her. “Eat up.”

“How did you learn to cook?”

“At one point I didn’t know how to work the tv, so all I watched was the cooking channel.”

She took her first bite and closed her eyes. “So good…” Bucky watched her eat. The way she opened and closed her eyes reminded him of the previous night. He was starting to feel hungry himself, just not for food.

He gently took the fork from between her lips and replaced it with his lips. Her mouth tasted like warm cinnamon and apples. She melted into the kiss, rubbing the palm of her hand over his length, causing him to harden at her touch. He grunted into her parted lips and looked her in the eyes. “I thought your thighs hurt.”

“I’ll live.”

He carried her back to the bedroom, but they barely made it inside before falling to the floor and making love there.

After they got themselves together, Bucky took a shower and got ready to head back home. Mira didn’t want him to leave.

“Steve is already worrying, I can tell. I have to get back.”

Mira sighed and handed him a bag with his clothes from the party. “We can’t be one of those couples that has dates regularly, can we?”

He looked at her with a gentle gaze and kissed her on the forehead. “‘Fraid not, Doll,” he replied. “But I’m going to find a way for us to be normal.”

* * *

 

_**He found a way.** _

Bucky and Mira’s relationship became an interesting thing for everyone around to witness. They seemed to communicate telepathically when others were around. They would make eye contact and start laughing or smiling without any words being said. Tony thought they were just really weird. Steve didn’t care how weird they were as long as Bucky kept smiling. What they failed to see was Bucky and Mira communicating through sign language. Well, except for Clint and Natasha who understood everything and made reaction faces at each other when they weren't looking.

For dates they usually met at Mira’s house to watch movies, cook together, and have really hot sex. Their relationship, however, was far less physical in nature than most people thought. It went on as it started, with Bucky listening to Mira talk, enjoying the sound of her warm voice on his ears. He thought she was wiser than she could ever believe. Mira thought he was amazingly kind-hearted, even though he thought he was an asshole. She also found him to be quite funny, he had a dark sense of humor that could make her cry from laughter. The physical element only brought them closer, and the fact that they cared so deeply for each other only made the sex better.

He couldn't always be with her, of course. He was always busy on missions. Still, he always managed to call her and tell her how things were going, that's something she appreciated. She just wanted to know he was okay.   

Overall, things were going great, and the first two months were great. Of course, sometimes great things don't last...

 


	11. Six Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of some crazy shit, that's all Imma say.  
> Thanks for the support <3 Leave any comments, questions, or concerns.

_He’s acting distant. More than usual… Did I say something? Did I do something? Did he see something on the last mission? Should I ask?_

Mira knew Bucky saw her staring at him, running these questions through her head over and over, while he laid on the couch with her staring at the wall. He did notice her, and he knew she probably thought something was wrong, he just didn’t have the heart to tell her.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Mira asked. Bucky shook his head. “Wanna go to the bar?” He shook his head again.

“I want to stay right here with you for bit, if it isn’t any trouble.”

“Of course not, Barnes, I love being here with you. You just look.. you seem… Nevermind.”

“I’m fine,” he assured her, falsely.

“Okay…” She got up and went to the kitchen to grab a beer. _Why won’t he tell me? What if I’m wrong and he’s really okay? It’s possible, y’know, people with PTSD are allowed to be distant. God, am I just acting like a bitch about this? This could be normal!_ She grabbed him a beer just in case. Then she remembered alcohol doesn’t affect him. _I’ll give it to him anyway._

Bucky waited for her, rubbing his temples and letting out a deep, tired sigh. The last thing he wanted to do was see Mira cry, but something in his gut told him she would cry when he gave her the news. Which is exactly why he was finding it so immensely difficult to tell her the news. The fact still remained that he had to, and he had to do it tonight or he'd run out of chances.

Mira walked back to him and he let out a deep sigh as she returned to her spot in his arms. “Is something wrong?”

He pressed a pensive kiss to her hair. “I have to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” She asked. “I’ve been so concerned about you lately.”

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. He unfolded it and opened his mouth to read it, but couldn't, so he handed it to her.

It was an order from S.H.I.E.L.D, an order for him to travel for a mission. Mira sat up straight, and looked at him and back down to the page. The room was silent, they could hear an argument outside. She must have read it a billion times. Each word felt like an anchor sinking her heart further down. "California?" She asked. "For six weeks?"

"Yeah..." Bucky said with a heavy sigh. "No cell phones or anything, they said it's a risk."

"I won't see or hear anything from you for six whole weeks, over a month, and you're going out of the state?"

He avoided her eyes, because God knows he couldn't stand to watch her cry. "I'll be fine. All of the Avengers are coming with me."

"You could still get hurt." Now she was crying, Bucky could hear the shakiness in her voice. He wrapped his arms around her. “Tony nearly died on their first mission as a team.”

"Doll, I'll be fine, I'll come back to you in one piece or, at the very least, with one less human arm."

She started laughing, she couldn't help it. "That's not funny, asshole."

"But you're laughing."

"That doesn't mean anything, I'm still upset." She grabbed an impractical handful of tissues and wiped her face.

"Mira Wilson, I promise I will come back to you. If I don't, blame Sam."

She didn’t find that funny. "When do you leave?" Bucky ran his fingers through his hair and cleared his throat. "When?"

"Helicarrier flies off in two days."

She gasped. "Two days?"

"I was going to tell you when I found out, I just couldn't."

She narrowed her eyes at him."When the hell did you find out?!"

"Are you angry at me?"

"Yes! When did you find out?"

"About four days ago."

"Four whole fucking days ago?!"

"I'm sorry."

Mira wiped her eyes. She wasn't really angry, she was just nervous. Bucky was never completely cut off from her, and she cared about him too much. It was one of those moments where she couldn’t help but feel she’d chosen the wrong profession, nobody’s fate was certain. She'd lost dozens of friends in the line of duty. "We only have two days to spend together..." She said, though she mostly said it to herself. "What do I do? What do we do?"

"Anything you want."

She thought about it. 48 hours definitely wasn't enough to do anything too extravagant, but Bucky would be gone for more than a month. "Well, Steve told me that you went to the Stark Expo or something before you were deployed."

"Uh huh..."

"We could go to a museum."

"Do you really want to spend some of our last 48 hours together before I leave for over a month at a museum?" He asked. "We can go to a museum any fucking time, and we have. Think bigger."

"True." Suddenly she got an idea, her eyes lit up like a child's. "You, me, the Avengers, paintball."

Bucky grinned. “If that’s what you really want to do, sure.” She smiled excitedly and grabbed her jacket. "Where are you going?"

"To Avengers Tower, to get everyone else on board." She pulled him out the door with her.

_I love her…_ He did. Everything about her was bringing life back into him. He couldn’t express it, he could hardly understand it himself. He wasn’t used to letting people get under his skin, Mira not only got under his skin, she embedded herself in him like a tattoo.

* * *

The opinion on paintball was largely positive with only two Avengers as the outliers: Bruce and Clint.

Bruce's objection was his fear of The Other Guy, which everyone respected. What was Clint's objection?

"I'm Hawkeye. Are you sure you want to do this with me?" Everyone else groaned.

"You might lose." Sam told him. "Bucky is a master sniper."

Clint shrugged. "I'll take him and Mira out first."

Mira raised an eyebrow. "Why me?"

"You two are a package, I might get bonus points."

Natasha shook her head. “I’m not sure that’s how paintball works.”

"As fucked as that is, he's right." Said Tony. "Although I wouldn't shoot Mira first unless you want Terminator to end both the game and your life. By the way I've already figured out the alliances in my head."

Sam rolled his eyes. "God help us..."

"Bucky and Mira, because they're boning each other. Natasha and Clint, because they might also be boning each other. Sam and Steve, because subtext. Oh, and I'm by myself because I anticipate you all killing each other first. Or Bucky and Clint having a Mexican stand off."

"I'm hunting you down first, Stark." Mira promised.

"That actually doesn't sound too bad."

"Well, remember you aren't really supposed to kill each other." Bruce reminded them. "Even though I am positive this game will end that way. Never thought Mira would be the person who takes down the Earth's Mightiest Heroes."

Mira giggled. "Me and you can start our own team, Avengers 2.0."

"I wouldn't mind.”

“I actually wanted to be a team with Mira.” Nat admitted. “It’ll be a nice way for her to get back at him for waiting this long to tell her.”

Mira smiled. “I like that idea.” For the first time, Bucky actually felt afraid of his girlfriend.

* * *

 

After they had everything planned and set, the Avengers went to bed, leaving Bucky and Mira alone. Mira seemed happier, but she was still very afraid. It was the same fear she got whenever Sam went far for missions. It was a fear that the people she loved the most wouldn’t return.

Bucky pulled her onto his lap. "Are you still upset?"

"Yes, but I'm a little less upset."

"Good." He moved the hair from her face. "We'll be together when I come back. It'll be like I never left." He kissed her neck and collarbone.

"Sure."

"I'm serious, we'll do everything we used to do and more."

"Six weeks without hearing from you and you think everything will be better?" She asked. 

He lifted his head up and met her eyes. “It will be, Doll. I'll take you to restaurants, we'll cook more food than we can eat, and we'll spar together. We'll go to every tourist destination in New York, we could even go to a damn sex shop if you want to. I'll make up for the lost time, Mira, I promise! I-” _I love you_. He wanted to tell her, but the words got caught at the back of his throat and surrendered to far less romantic ones. Showing emotions still wasn’t his strong suit. “I’ll bring you something back.”

She smiled. “Oh God, like what?”

He shrugged. “I was thinkin’ a keychain, maybe a palm tree. Or a piece of the Hollywood sign.”

Mira rolled her eyes and leaned on his chest. “I don’t want you vandalizing national landmarks but if you get me a keychain I swear I’ll punch you in the throat.”

“There’s my Mira.”

"Were you serious about the sex shop?"

"I wouldn't lie about that."

"Good, I want handcuffs."

Bucky chuckled. "I will one up you on that. You can do that thing you've been wanting to do where you lick ice cream off my-"

"Jarvis, turn the lights on, please." Tony yawned and started walking towards the kitchen. "You two are still up?" Mira blushed and stifled a laugh. "Do S.H.I.E.L.D agents not need sleep?" They separated and waited for Tony to leave. "Oh, and don't think no one heard you talking because I did and there's a shop by Broadway-"

"Leave." Bucky growled.

"I was just about to."


	12. Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love letters and intense paintball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be up tomorrow as a Christmas present! ;D  
> Thanks for the love and all the positive feedback. I can only get better, and you all are helping me get better. <3

Mira and Sam were always competitive. When they were little they competed for attention and candy. When they were teenagers they competed academically. Now that they were adults with jobs that require specific sets of skills, they competed in more violent areas. Needless to say, this wasn’t the first time Mira and Sam have been in a paintball game together. Still, Bucky had a plan and he refused to let their rivalry get in the way.

About two hours before the game, Bucky knocked on the doorway of Sam’s room. “You busy?”

Sam was doing sit ups on the floor by his bed, so no he wasn’t busy, and Bucky just walked right in. “What do you want to talk about?”

_This is going to be harder than I thought._ “Mira.”

“What about her?” Sam got off the floor and sat on the edge of his bed. “Something wrong?”

Bucky shook his head. “No, not at all.”

“Then what is there to talk about?”

“Sam, this is odd for me to tell you or anyone but... I love her.”

The smile on Sam’s face was sickening. It took everything in him not to call in the other conspirators and tell them that the plan worked.  “Is that so?”

“Yes, it’s everything I imagined love felt like,” he began to smile. “It’s like being sick, except I don’t want medicine.”

“That is the fucking weirdest love analogy I have ever heard, but I’ll take it. Congrats, man.”

"I don't know how to tell her."

"You could say 'I love you, Mira'."

Bucky turned and started to leave. "Maybe Nat can help..."

Sam pulled him back in. "I was kidding. Calling in Nat isn't a terrible idea, though." He stuck his head out the doorway. "Natasha, we have an emergency and request your assistance."

Natasha walked around the corner with her arms crossed. "Is that a euphemism?"

"Not at the moment, Bucky has a not so problematic problem."

Nat sat down. "Lay it on me."

"I love Mira." Bucky explained. "But I don't know how to tell her... Why are you two smiling like that?"

Sam pulled out his phone. "No reason."

"Um, okay, anyway... How do I do this?"

Natasha cleared her throat and pulled out her own phone. "Mira likes competition, white roses, 90s movies, good books, art, and you."

"That's true."

"You might not have to verbally express how you feel. She likes stuff like that. Her ex was an asshole who talked her head off."

"So you want me to write it down?"

"Sure! Write it in a letter." Sam suggested. "Letters are still considered romantic."

Bucky grinned. "That's a great idea. I'll slip it in with her mail." He hurried off to his room. "Thanks, guys."

Natasha looked at Sam's phone once he was gone. "You texted Steve and Pepper?"

"Hell yeah."

Writing a letter was way harder than he thought. It was just as hard as talking but far more permanent. He couldn’t figure out exactly how he wanted to express his feelings for her. A simple ‘I love you’ didn’t feel like enough, but anything more felt ingenuine.

It took about fifteen failed attempts to frustrate him. “How do people do this?! This is impossible!” He stared at the picture of Mira from the first photography lesson. _What would I say to her?_ He ran his fingers through his hair and picked up the pen. The words flowed straight out of him.

* * *

 

Mira was in the shower when her mail came. Usually it was just a bill and some advertizing from whatever stores she happened to walk in. Nothing special, nothing fancy.

She wrapped a towel around her body and went to get it from the door. It was the usual pile of white envelopes and colorful catalogs she was used to. She bent down to pick them up when another envelope slipped through the slot.

_That’s new…_ It was a white envelope with a white rose taped to it. _My favorite flower! Must be from Bucky._ She instantly forgot about all the other mail and sat down on the floor to open this one. It smelled just like him; leather, metal, and vanilla. _He wrote me a letter, what a sweetheart._

 

> _Dear Mira,_
> 
> _It’s probably weird to start a love letter off with ‘you make me sick’, but I’m going to do it. You make me sick. You make my body ache. You make my heart race like it’s going to burst out of my fucking chest. You make my vision blurry. You’re distracting. Sometimes I think I’m going fucking mental because there is no way on earth that you’ve chosen me over anyone else on this earth._
> 
> _I’m a piece of shit._
> 
> _You are sunshine. You are happiness. You’re the daydream for every nightmare._
> 
> _Of all the things to happen to me during recovery, meeting you is the first thing that has ever felt like a reward. What it could possibly be a reward for, I don’t fucking know. I don’t feel like I’ve redeemed myself, but someone in this universe must think I’m not completely worthless because here you are. You’re amazing, kind, gorgeous, strong, and talented. There isn’t a damn set of words I could use that could ever fully describe how I feel, but ‘I love you’ should do for now._
> 
> _I love you. I don’t deserve to, but I do._
> 
> _-Bucky_
> 
> _p.s. There’s no way in hell you’re gonna be on a team with Natasha, so she can just forget that._

Mira was almost embarrassed by how much she was sobbing. She put the letter on the coffee table and smiled. _I love you too_.

* * *

 

The Avengers were getting their stuff ready to leave. Sam sat next to Bucky to pack his backpack. “Did you give her the letter?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know what she’ll think.”

“It came from your heart, she’ll see that.”

“I didn’t even know I had a heart anymore.”

“Excuse me, Miss. Wilson has arrived. She appears to have brought cookies for everyone.” Jarvis announced.

Mira stepped out of the elevator with a bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies. She looked over at Bucky and smiled. Now his heart was racing.

“Are those homemade?” Clint asked. Mira nodded. “Fuck yes…” He took them from her and ran to his room, prompting Steve and Tony to chase him.

Mira walked over to where Bucky was sitting. “I got your letter.”

“What’d you think?”

She leaned over and kissed him. Sam hopped off the couch to give them some space. “The feeling is very mutual and you’re the sweetest man on the earth.” She looked back at Natasha. “The cookies were mostly for her since I’m changing teams.”

Bucky pulled her onto the couch and hovered over her. “We are going to destroy them.”

She giggled. “Of course.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

* * *

 

The paintball tournament started with everyone agreeing not to actually kill each other, which is a good sign. Bucky rubbed black ‘war paint’ on Mira’s eyes, almost forgetting how ticklish she was. He’d only begun to rub it across her eyes when she practically snorted with laughter.

“How do you put makeup on?” He asked her. “You can’t even sit still when my thumb brushes your face.”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t tickle when I do it to myself.”

Bucky smirked and gently held her head still to finish the job. “I’m trying very hard not to take that the wrong way.”

“It also doesn’t feel as good when I do it to myself.”

“Stop it.”

“You’re the only one who does this to me, Bucky.”

“Damn straight.”

“We’re gonna be twins after this.”

“We are absolutely not going to be twins after this.” He took a second to make sure the eyes matched. “You look better than me. You always do.”

“Really? You don’t think I’m too dark or anything?”

He raised his eyebrows. “You don’t mean your skin, do you?” Mira nodded, and his heart broke. _How could she think anything on her body is wrong?_   “No, absolutely not! Your skin is beautiful. Why do you think I love kissing it so much?” He kissed her forehead. “The only thing you are is too amazing.”

The moment was disrupted by the sound of Sam sniffling behind them. Mira turned and grinned. “Were you eavesdropping?”

“Of course I was!” He cried. “I’m glad I did.”

Mira sighed and turned back to Bucky. “Are we ever going to be alone together?”

He nodded. “After this is over we can go back to your place and I’ll show you just how much I meant what I wrote.”

“Looking forward to it.”

Tony blew a very loud whistle and turned all attention to himself as usual. “Let’s get this started. The mean ref man says we have 30 seconds to get into positions starting-” The ref blew his bullhorn. “Starting now, I guess.”

Everyone ran in different directions. Bucky pulled Mira behind a tree and told her to stay behind him. There were about fifteen minutes of silence as everyone tried to see where everyone else was. Bucky and Mira could see every other person hiding behind a tree, and he could even see Clint climbing up one.

“We have a good vantage point, I’ll tell you when to shoot.” He whispered.

“Sweet.”

There was a rustling exactly opposite of the tree they were hiding behind. “You wanted to get Tony first, right?” She nodded. He pointed her paintball gun in the direction of Tony’s ass. He was trying to run into the deepest part of the arena. “Shoot, then we run like hell.”

She shot Tony in the ass five times and he flopped on the ground. Bucky and Mira couldn’t help but laugh, then a paintball just narrowly missed Mira’s head. Bucky picked her up and carried her to the next tree.

“It was Clint, I can tell by the angle.” Mira said.

“Reason number 200 why you should be a field agent.” He turned around the trunk and saw Natasha aiming for Sam. He shot her in the shoulder. “One and a half teams down, the only person I can’t see is Steve.”

Mira gasped. “Ooh, let me get Sam!” Bucky pointed Sam out for her and she shot him in the leg. He let out a groan and left the field. “Where’s the flag?”

“By the ref.” The red flag, which they needed to grab in order to win, was planted by the ref who was laughing at Sam’s limp from his place above the field. “We’d have to take Clint down to get it.”

“Not a problem.”

“It will be for you, you’re very short.”

Mira scoffed. “Wow, I could shoot you.”

“I’m just stating fact, you’re short. If you get on my back, you’ll have a better chance of taking Clint down.”

Mira nodded in agreement and hopped on Bucky’s back, wrapping her legs around his waist. She aimed the gun for his waist. Sadly for Clint, he didn’t see her or Bucky until she’d taken the shot. It hit him right in the stomach.

The ref gasped. “You two are good!”

Bucky smiled at Mira. “Now we only have Steve.”

“You watch for Steve, I’ll grab the flag.”

They ran out into the center as quietly as possible, and Mira started to climb up the ref’s tower. She was quick, but about halfway up, a paintball splattered inches from her face.

“Bucky, look out!” She kept climbing despite Steve shooting closer and closer. “You know what, fuck Captain America, my favorite Avenger was always Black Widow!” She finally reached the top and the ref grinned and handed her the flag. Mira squealed with excitement. “I defeated The Avengers! How the fuck do I get down?”

The ref shrugged. “People usually jump, it’s not as far as you would think.”

“Bucky!”

“I got you, Doll, just jump.” He stood with his arms ready to catch her. Mira took a deep breath and let go of the tower, falling into Bucky’s arms bridal style. “I told you.”

“I didn’t doubt you for a second.” She kissed him on the cheek. “You can come out now, Rogers. Game over.”

“Not yet!” Steve ran out of the trees and shot Bucky twice in the back. “Now the game is over!”

“Punk!”

“Jerk!”

Bucky let go of Mira and they chased Steve out.

 


	13. Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically porn with a side of crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS, ANGELS!! <3

Mira didn't want the day to end. Bucky explained that he’d have to spend the entirety of his last day in New York being told all the details of the mission, she didn't care. She also knew there was no damn way she was going to waste her last few hours before not seeing her boyfriend for over a month. Mira Wilson was no fool.

They arrived at her apartment and Bucky locked the door behind them. Mira turned and took off her jacket. “You were great in paintball today.”

He took off his own jacket and slipped out of his boots, walking closer towards her. “You weren't so bad yourself.” He pulled her into a passionate kiss, as if it were something he’d been waiting to do all day.  He only broke the kiss to pull her shirt over her head and she reached for his belt but he stopped her hands.

“We’ll be needing that tonight," he said, his eyes almost completely darkened by lust. "There’s no way in hell I’m leaving you for six weeks without something to remember…” He tossed her over his shoulder like a rag doll and carried her into the kitchen. Then, he laid her down on the counter and grabbed the whipped cream out of her refrigerator. “Take off your clothes.”

The dominating tone in his voice made Mira shiver. She loved when he was controlling because it always gave her a chance to tease him. She slid her jeans off, taking her time and trying to torture him. Once she was down to her underwear, she unhooked her bra and threw it off to the side.

Her panties were the only thing keeping Bucky from what he really wanted to see, so naturally she would take those off at the slowest pace. She hooked her fingers under the waistline of her panties and slowly slid them over her thighs, making eye contact with Bucky as she did. His chest began to visibly rise and fall and he could feel his erection growing very quickly.

She kicked her panties off with a satisfied grin and laid flat on her back. “Go on.”

“You sick little tease, you’ll pay for that...”

She giggled and he shook the can of whipped cream. He sprayed the sugary foam all over her body, from her neck to her breasts to her hips, then he set the can off to the side and climbed between her spread legs.

He started by licking the cream off of her neck, making her moan softly. His hands wandered her sides as they did often. He licked the line of cream between her breasts. She arched her back as his tongue explored the area of her breast, cleaning it off and sucking it with a 'POP' noise. She tangled her fingers in his hair. As soon as he was done, he massaged the finished breast and began working on the other.

He was torturing her as she tortured him. His methods were slow and meticulous, and not to mention effective. The wetness pooling between her legs was clear indicator of that. He kissed and licked her skin down to her hip bones, a moan got caught in the back of her throat. She wanted him more than even she’d expected.

Bucky grabbed the whipped cream again and sprayed some on her inner thighs. He looked up at her in a most menacing way and slowly ran his tongue through the whipped cream. Each time, he came so close to her womanhood that she could feel his breath. Her heart was already beginning to race.

“So fucking sexy...” She moaned.

He inhaled the intoxicating smell of her warmth before softly kissing her clit. He gripped both of her thighs tightly and started rolling his tongue in circles around her, not daring to break the stare. He parted her lips enabling him to plunge his tongue deeper into her. She moaned loudly and dug her nails into the counter. His mouth was relentless, it was like he was trying to have every last drip of her.

He let go of one of her thighs and used his metal index and middle fingers to increase her undoing. Her climax was already starting to build. “B-Bucky…”

“Cum in my fucking mouth.” He demanded. "Let yourself go."

He sped up his pace. Her walls started to contract around him. Her vision and her thoughts blurred. She bucked her hips forward to meet his tongue and called out his name as her orgasm spilled into Bucky’s lips. He lifted his head and wiped his mouth with a smug grin.

“Touch yourself for me, Doll.”

She did as she was told, rubbing around her sticky wetness in circles and watching Bucky closely. He took off his shirt. There were a few scratches on his chest from their last little endeavor, but they only managed to turn Mira on more. He took off his belt and wrapped it around his wrist for now, then slipped off his remaining articles of clothing.

“We don’t have handcuffs yet, but this belt will do until then. Hold out your arms.” She held out her arms and he tied them together with his leather belt and lifted them above her head. “Stand up.” She stood up. His eyes wandered her body. “Turn around and bend over.”

She bit her lip hard and bent over the counter. He walked up behind her and she could feel his erection at her entrance. He spanked her hard twice and she let out an adorable high pitch squeal. “That was for teasing me earlier.”

She could feel his length rubbing against her slits. The tip just barely met her entrance. Then, he pulled away.

“Not here.” She stood up and he led her into the bedroom, pulling her by the belt around her wrists. He then threw her onto the bed. He crawled beneath her legs, lifting one over his shoulder, and held her hips to keep her still as he ran his erection across her wetness. The teasing was unbearable. She couldn't take it, she had to touch him. She managed to wriggle her hands through his belt and one went straight for his hard manhood.

It twitched from her touch and Bucky grabbed her wrist trying to pull her away, but for this moment he allowed himself to lose control of the situation. She pumped him slowly with her hand, making him grunt and groan.

“Fuck…” His eyes shut and he slowly moved himself towards her throbbing entrance. “I just want to be inside you.” He pushed himself into her. His mouth hung open in pure bliss as he just stayed there for a while, taking the moment in completely.

With her leg still over his shoulder, he slowly began thrusting in and out of her with his eyes still closed. How were they supposed to go this long without this?

The sweet sounds of Mira’s moans fueled Bucky to go quicker. At this point, he really truly needed her. As much as he wanted and desired her, he _needed_ her. Not just in this way, but just as she was. He was attracted to every aspect of her.

He gradually quickened the pace. His hair clung to the sweat on his face, and he opened his eyes to see that she’d thrown her own head back in ecstasy.

“Shit, Bucky… Harder.”

That’s all the incentive he needed. He thrust into her desperately, animalistically. Skin making loud contact with skin as they became one. They were as loud and careless and sloppy as they wanted to be. Neither really cared.

“I’m getting so close, Bucky…. FUCK!” Bucky pulled her legs around his waist and she sat up, keeping up the thrusts as they held tightly on to each other. She grabbed his face and pressed a sloppy, needy kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

He gripped her by the back of her hair and pressed her forehead to his. “I love you, too… So fucking much.”

Mira let out a loud moan between his open lips as her second orgasm flowed through her body. The feeling of her walls tightening brought Bucky to his own climax within a few final, deliberate thrusts.

Their heavy breathing filled in the silence. Mira pressed loving kisses to his face and ran her fingers through his hair. _He's so beautiful._  He smiled and buried his face in the crook of her neck. “I’m gonna miss you, Doll.”

“God, let’s not even talk about it.”

He pulled out of her and collapsed next to her, completely exhausted. “They want me at S.H.I.E.L.D tomorrow, 8 AM. We won’t have time to say goodbye to each other. So, I have to talk about it.”

Mira sighed and she could already feel herself starting to cry. “Will you at least stay here with me for the night?”

He pulled her close and pulled the covers over her. “You’ll be here in my arms all night, but I’ll be gone before you wake up.” He could feel her body beginning to shake. “No no, please don’t cry! I don’t want you to be sad. I’ll be back with you in no time. This isn't 'goodbye', it’s just ‘see you later’.”

“I have the worst fucking feeling about this. Something doesn't feel right.”

“Mira, I will be fine. I will be absolutely fine, please get some sleep.”

“Fine.” She wiped her eyes and laid her head on his chest.

“Goodnight, Doll.”

“Goodnight, Barnes.”

* * *

 

Neither of them slept that night.

After a few hours, Mira felt Bucky slip out from beneath her. He kissed her cheek and whispered "I love you, I'll see you soon."

With that, he was gone.

 


	14. No Protection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally learn why there is a graphic violence warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Welcome to the new year, I wish you all the very fucking best. I am sincerely sorry for everything that happens during and after this chapter. You can cry to me in the comments or @ afro-elf.tumblr.com. Love you! <3

**Thirty-nine hours.**

Bucky had been in California for thirty-nine hours. 

Not only that, but most of Mira's close friends were also in California with Bucky and without access to their phones.

She was bored as hell. She spent four hours in the library re-reading the first three Harry Potters and glancing at cheap erotica that wasn't exactly quality, even it did give her a few grand ideas. She bought herself a pair of high heels, which she rarely ever got to wear because she was quite the homebody. She bought three packs of assorted cookies. Then, she stopped by a bar and got into a fight with a middle aged man who tried to sneak a roofie into a college girl's first drink. She came out of it with only a bruise on her arm where he had the audacity to grab her. Her opponent went directly to the ER.

The only person she really had left to talk to was Pepper, who also thought this strange mission was a bit odd. They discussed it over coffee. Pepper listened to Mira talk about how it just wasn’t sitting right with her that all the Avengers were out of the city and not allowed contact with the outside world.

When she was done, Pepper stirred her coffee thoughtfully. “Natasha and Steve were a little wary of that as well.” She told her. “Do you think it’s a trap?”

Mira shrugged. “All I know is that whatever’s in California has something to do with Hydra, and that’s never a good sign.” She sipped her coffee. “Either that or I’m just a paranoid lover.”

“You don’t seem like the type honestly.”

“I’m not, and that’s what concerns me.” She sighed. “I’m never this worried for Bucky. I know he can handle himself. He's a fucking super soldier! This whole situation is just beyond strange to me. I can't place my finger on it." She let out a heavy sigh and grinned. "Still, it must be nice having that huge place to yourself. All I have is my very cold pile of bricks."

Pepper laughed. "I like your apartment. It's extremely cozy."

"That's code for small, Pepper."

"No, it's not, I promise!"

"As I said, pile of bricks." She checked her phone. "Maria checks on me every few hours to see if I need someone to talk to, which is nice considering her schedule. You, Pepper Potts, are a superhero in your own right! I don't even see how you've managed to meet me for coffee today, so thank you."

"It's not even a problem, you and Bucky are really close, and this is the longest you've been separated since you started dating. I'm here for you. You're my friend."

"You are the coolest person alive," Mira said with a grin. "Maybe this is good. I rarely get time to myself with my job and Bucky and everything. I just need to relax. I need to draw."

"That should help."

"I'll go home, put on some music, and just draw whatever comes to my mind."

"Sounds relaxing." Pepper glanced at the marks on her wrists from Bucky's belt. "Well, well, well, did that happen on the job?"

Mira blushed and covered her wrists with her sleeves. "As far as you're concerned, yes it did." She covered her face. "Great, now this entire coffee shop knows I'm a lady on the streets and a freak in the sheets."

"Honey, with a man that looks like Bucky, I'm not even a little surprised."

"Sometimes it's so awkward standing in a room with both him and my cousin. Sam knows we have sex but it's still fucking weird because he doesn't know how... Creative we get..." Pepper started laughing. "It's not funny! Then sometimes, Bucky whispers sexy shit in my ear while we're at dinner with Sam and Steve! I would tell him to stop, but I don't really... I don't really want him to."

"Of course not."

A smile crept on her face. "I miss him already. God, I hate being in love! This is torture!"

"Yes, it is, but he'll be back soon enough. So will Tony."

Mira groaned and threw her head back. “I even miss Tony!”

“You really do need to relax.”

* * *

 

Mira sat in her living room with her hair pulled back, in her sweatpants, with a blanket around her shoulders and Beyonce serenading her from her speakers. She was sketching a picture of Avengers Tower as it looked at Tony's party the night she and Bucky first got together. It was relaxing her as she expected it would. The clock said it was past midnight, but she was trying to get any and all details she could remember. She ended up starting over completely twice. She didn't mind much, it was occupying her mind, keeping her busy. She was even considering going over it with watercolor paint later.

Mira was halfway finished drawing Natasha's dress when she got up to make herself some tea. The kettle screamed on the stove and she ran to move it to a cooler side.

"Shut up, I hear you… Little bastard."

The mug already had a tea bag inside of it, so she poured the hot water into it and turned to get the sugar from her cabinet. She reached as far back as she could until she was practically standing tiptoed on the floor. Her hand just couldn't find the bag.

“Why the hell are you so far ba-”

Her sentence was cut short when a large hand covered her mouth and nose, and a strong arm hooked around her waist. Her eyes widened, she elbowed her attacker hard in the stomach, then shattered the mug on the counter and used it to cut his face and shove the shard into his chest. He doubled over in pain, giving her a chance to run into her closet with her cell phone.

She locked the closet and dialed 9-1-1, but the signal wouldn't go through. She called three times. It was like someone had blocked even the possibility of her getting help. Her panic grew as she realized how alone she was.

_I'm not going down without a fucking fight._

She stuck her head out of the closet, and checked to see if the door was clear. It wasn't. There were two large, heavily armed men walking in through her door, and a few more coming in through the windows. She covered her mouth and went back into the closet to think of a way to escape.

_Oh God, they’re coming in through every damn exit. I don’t know what to do. To get to the vents, I’d have to go to the kitchen… I might just have to bullshit my way through._

“Come out, come out wherever you are, Miss. Wilson.” said a husky male voice. “Your boyfriend can’t save you now.”

She thought quickly, trading in her broken mug pieces for a huge plank of wood from an unfinished home improvement project, and bracing herself for what would potentially be the last fight she’d ever be in. Moving silently and swiftly, she opened the door and crept outside.

She cleared her throat, intentionally turning attention to herself. “My boyfriend is great and all, but I never needed him to protect me.”

Two huge agents charged for her. She kicked the first one back, using the momentum to hit the other with the plank, causing his face to bleed. She noticed an all too familiar symbol on the vest of the man she’d now managed to knock unconscious.

“Now what would Hydra want with lil ole me?”

An approaching agent grinned. “Come with us and we’ll explain.”

Mira laughed. “Fuck that noise.” She smacked him in the face with the plank and he went down instantly, his skull smacking against the ground. An agent managed to punch her in the face, causing her to fall backwards. She used her weight to propel herself in her direction, kicking her in the groin. Then she picked the plank back up and swiped her across the face. She had them on the ropes, as long as she found a way to get back on her feet.

She failed to notice the agent watching closely behind her, waiting to strike. He was taking in her fighting style, trying to find every weakness and strength. _She moves like an agent of great skill_ , thought the onlooker. _But she is defeated without her legs_.

The attack was so quick, Mira didn’t see it coming at all. The hidden agent pulled a baton from his belt and struck her in the back of her legs. She wailed with pain and fell. _This isn’t good_. She crawled over to the couch, trying to get up, but one of the agents stepped on her back. It was over.

They folded her arms behind her back and pulled her off the ground by her arms and legs. She was kicking and screaming, hoping the neighbors would hear, hoping anyone would hear. No one heard.

“We told you we needed you…” hissed the onlooker from before. He spoke with a broken Russian accent, not unlike the one Bucky would sometimes slip into. “Make her quiet and collect the wounded.” He gave his fellow agents a hand signal and ran out of the apartment as quickly as possible.

They tied a rag around her nose and mouth and she felt her body losing power. _Stay awake. Stay alive. Stay awake. Stay alive._ She tried wiggling out of their grip, but it was no use, within moments she was out like a light. Her struggling body became limp in the arms of her attackers. Hydra finally had its live bait.

* * *

 

Pepper was worried.

She had been trying to call Mira for two hours, and she hadn’t picked up the phone once or returned her text messages. As usual, Mira left something behind when they were getting coffee: her gloves. Pepper was trying to see if she wanted her to return them to her in person or just drop it through her mail slot, but her friend was completely M.I.A. She called Agent Hill to see if she’d gone in to work, and she hadn’t.

She went to Mira’s apartment to return the gloves, when she noticed that the windows were opened. _Mira is a New Yorker born and raised… Why would she ever leave her windows open?_   She knocked on the door, and it easily cracked open. _What happened?_

Completely panicked, but trying to keep her cool, she went inside the apartment. There was a bloodied plank of wood on the ground. A mug was shattered on the floor of the kitchen in a puddle of blood. There was blood on the wall of the hallway and on the floor. Mira was nowhere to be found. “Mira!” She rushed into her bedroom. “Mira- Oh my God…”

On her bedroom wall, written in fresh crimson blood, were the words ‘HEIL HYDRA’. Beneath them, a note that simply said ‘Come and get her, Soldier’.

Pepper was shaking. She pulled out her phone and took pictures of the apartment to send to S.H.I.E.L.D. Then she dialed Agent Hill’s number. She knew that mission was convenient.

Agent Hill picked up the phone. “Yes, Miss. Potts?”

“We need the Avengers back in New York...”

“Funny you said that, we discovered that the Hydra call was a false alarm, all we found were some dead agents and broken computers. We’re sending them back home now. They should be on board the helicarrier.”

“Maria, Mira has been kidnapped by Hydra. They want Bucky.”

There was a short pause. “Hydra doesn’t have a damn clue what its just done...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am so sorry.


	15. Nightmare Realized

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're still friends right?  
> Cool.  
> Let's keep going, then! :)

Natasha was suspicious. As usual, it was well-placed suspicion but she didn’t know quite how well placed it was. As she sat in the helicarrier thinking about all possible reasons for this ‘false alarm’ that sent the world’s most elite crime fighting team across the country without any forms of communication, Sam and Tony walked in the room mid-argument.

“Why would you eat all of the blueberries?” Sam asked. “Has it ever occurred to you that you are not the only damn person in the world?”

Tony nodded. “Of course! I’m looking at you right now.” He turned to Natasha. “And that’s the world’s most dangerous spider.”

“That ego, is it overcompensating for something?”

“Yes, um, crippling anxiety.”

“Blueberries, really?” Natasha rolled her eyes and turned her chair around to face them. “How is it that I am the only one who thinks there is something horribly wrong here?”

Sam sat next to her. “What is the theory?”

“Something’s wrong in New York.” She explained. “I don’t know if it’s the Tower or a person or a group of people, but something is very wrong in New York. This was all too convenient!” She stood up and pulled him in the direction of a computer. She pulled up the mission file. “The mission isn’t written as a normal mission. It doesn’t seem like something The Avengers should handle, in fact it is written like a mission given to smaller teams. However, we were the ones sent. Given that there’s been increased Hydra activity since they infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D, Maria probably overlooked this. Then, to top it all off, it turns out to be a false alarm. All the Hydra bastards we find have poisoned themselves with cyanide like this is fucking World War II. How strange is that?”

Steve ran into the room. “Agent Hill is calling in, she said put her on the big screen.” Natasha got the screen ready and Sam started walking into the hall. Steve stopped him. “Are you going to wake Bucky up?” Sam nodded. “Maria said not to. Not yet.”

“Not yet?”

“I don’t know why, she just said not yet. She also said you may want to sit down for this.”

Now Sam was scared.

Clint and Bruce walked in as soon as Maria’s face appeared on screen. “Always nice to see you, Agent Hill.” said Clint.

Maria flashed a weak grin that faded almost immediately after it appeared. She looked jittery. “Agent Barnes is still sleeping, right?” She asked. They all nodded. “Good. I don’t want to be the one who tells him.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow. “Is something wrong in New York?”

Maria nodded. “Um, Sam… While you were in California, something happened to your cousin.”

Sam’s eyes widened. Everyone looked at him, then back to the screen. “Mira?”

“Yes.”

Steve placed a supportive hand on Sam’s shoulder. “What happened?”

Maria tried to think of an easy way to phrase it, but there was none. There was no way she could sugarcoat this without lying to them. “Mira has been abducted by Hydra.”

They were all shocked. Natasha covered her mouth and whispered, “I knew something was wrong…”

Steve stepped forward. “How do you know?”

Maria sighed and pulled up the pictures Pepper took. The image of the bloody writing on the wall made Sam nauseous. “Pepper stopped by her apartment to return something of her’s. The door and all of the windows were open. The place was trashed.” She zoomed in on the note left for Bucky. “I guess they were expecting someone…”

“It’s a trap.” Natasha said. “A trap for Bucky.”

“They’re using my baby cousin as bait,” Sam said. Tears stinging his face as they rolled down his cheeks. “Is that her blood?”

“Some of it is, some of it isn’t.” Maria replied.

Sam looked up at Steve. “She fought them off. She fought Hydra off.”

Steve smiled. “She’s gonna survive.”

“Who’s tellin’ Barnes?” asked Clint. “‘S not gonna be easy calming him down when he finds out. He really loves her, and all of his emotions are at least twice as strong as a normal person’s.”

“Being brainwashed and tortured into having no emotions does that to you.” Natasha said. “I’ll tell him.” Sam tried to volunteer, but she cut him off. “You are in no shape to tell anybody anything, Sam. I’m telling Bucky.”

“He is going to set this helicarrier on fire…” Tony said half-jokingly. “I don’t blame him. I really wouldn't even be mad.”

Maria took a deep breath. “I’ll send you everything we have on the abduction so far in case he asks for proof. We have agents investigating the scene now. I will call you later as soon as we get anything new. Sam…” He looked up at her. What were you supposed to say to someone in this situation? “She’s a tough girl, she’ll make it.”

Maria signed off. Sam stared out the window, emotionally tuned out. It was as if he was trying to translate sadness into anger. Natasha got up and stretched. _No time like the present…Please be okay…_

* * *

 

A very-unauthorized box of chocolates and a keychain for Mira sat on top of the dresser by Bucky’s bed, as he promised. He wasn't sleeping, he was thinking. That’s all he ever did. He was thinking about what Natasha told him earlier about the trip having a ‘bad taste’. Originally, he didn't pay much attention to it, but it made more sense the longer her thought about it. Besides, Natasha was never wrong, at least not that he could recall.

He was idly tossing his knife in the air when Nat knocked on the door. “Come in, I’m dressed.”

She walked in, but she stayed by the door. Instantly he could tell something was wrong because she was on the defense. He put the knife down and waited for her to speak.

“Bucky, I have some bad news,” she said.

He smirked. “Did Stark run out of blueberries?” Natasha didn't laugh, confirming Bucky's hunch that something was wrong. “What’s wrong?”

“The mission wasn't just a false alarm, Buck. It was a set-up.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes at her and stood up. “What do you mean?”

She bit her lip. “Please sit back down.” He shot her a questioning glance. “Please, you’ll want to be sitting.”

“Just tell me what happened.”

Natasha closed the door behind her. She knew this probably wouldn't keep eavesdroppers away, but she didn't want Bucky to hear this from anyone but her. “Maria just called in from New York. Somehow Hydra got into S.H.I.E.L.D’s system and set up a fake mission for us across the country to make sure we couldn’t do anything for New York.”

“Did someone attack New York?”

“Bucky, please, just sit down and let me tell you the whole story.” He sat down and waited impatiently. His legs shaking nervously. “Shit, this is not going to be easy…” She ran her hands through her hair and leaned against the door. “Listen, Hydra somehow found out about your relationship with Mira and… Last night…”

She never finished that sentence but it didn't take long at all before he knew. “No…”

“Pepper went over to her apartment to return something and it was a wreck-”

“No, that’s not true...”

“It is true. She took pictures and everything, Bucky. The mission was a trap, it was a Hydra plot.”

Bucky’s heart was racing, beating so hard it felt like it was trying to escape his chest. “Is she alive? Do you know?”

“No trace of her or the agents who took her, it was a clean sweep.”

Bucky curled his hands into fists. His mind was trying to decide what to feel, what to think. It was like a relapse. He was fighting off The Winter Soldier as it tried to break free. _They took her. They took my Mira. They will die._

“Bucky, do you want space?”

“How far are we from New York?”

“An hour.” Bucky stared at the door. “I’m going to give you some space, alright? We already told Sam.”

Natasha left quickly, running into the crowd that was forming at the door. Steve looked the most concerned. “Think I should go in there?” The sound of Bucky yelling and throwing something at the door came from the room. “Not yet.”

The door opened and Bucky walked out with his knife. Everyone moved out of his way. He was volatile, angry, he needed to work this off or else the Soldier would definitely come out. He stormed past Sam. The sight of him only made Sam more frustrated, more angry. Hell, he wouldn't have held Bucky back if he went full Soldier. If that was what it took to get his cousin back, then that’s how it would be.

* * *

 

Bucky spent at least two hours working off his anger. He locked himself in the weight room and broke at least four pieces of equipment. It was better than breaking human beings.

Sam always told him to think about what he was feeling and why he was feeling it. He didn't want to feel this way. He didn't want to think about it. He wanted action. He wanted Hydra to pay.

He was sitting on the floor of the weight room, stabbing into a cushion, when he heard footsteps behind him. Sounded like Steve.

"Are you here to tell me everything is gonna be okay?" He asked. His voice cracked from under use.

Steve sighed. "You know I wouldn't do that to you, Buck."

"This is my fault," Bucky said, more to himself than anything. "I never should've done this to her. I never should have loved her."

"Loving her is the best thing for the both of you. That's what's going to get her home to you."

"If I rescue her, they kill her and change me back. If I don't rescue her, she dies. Either way, she dies."

"Not if we do this right."

It wasn't that simple. Bucky was so frustrated with no one ever understanding what it was like to be Hydra’s prized possession. They cared but they could never understand. Suddenly he just exploded, he couldn’t take it anymore. "HYDRA TAKES EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AWAY FROM ME! HOW COULD I HAVE PUT HER IN DANGER LIKE THIS? I'M A FUCKING IDIOT."

"You aren't an idiot, you love her. She loves you too."

His body felt so tense, like he would never calm down."Sam probably hates me."

"He doesn't hate you. He just wants his cousin back. We need you for that, Bucky. She needs you." Steve walked a bit closer. "After paintball, Mira told me that you're the best man she's ever met. She told me that you're so used to thinking of yourself as an asshole that you haven't even tried to see how happy you make her. Mira doesn't care about the risk. She's probably thinking of a way to escape as we speak, but she's one person. I have no doubt that she's giving them hell, but she can't do this without us."

Bucky took a deep breath, stood up, and turned to face him. "The only way to get her out alive is to kill every fucking living thing in there. Hydra shows no mercy. So, we're showing no mercy."

"Alright, we follow your lead."

 


	16. The New Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned on having this up yesterday but school is hell, and I found the first draft of this chapter a bit triggering so I completely re-wrote it. The next few chapters are mostly going to be split. One will follow Mira, the next will follow Bucky.  
> It'll be fun... For me, at least.  
> Thank you for getting this so many hits! Holy shit, I never expected this in my wildest fucking dreams. Tell me what you think of the story so far in the comments and tell me what you think might happen later on. Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated because it helps me become a better writer which makes this fic less of a piece of shit.

Mira woke up feeling like her head had been hit with a hammer. Her shirt was splattered with rust-colored blood stains. Her feet were bare. The agents had taken her pants to be searched, she felt cold and far too exposed.

She tried to sit up straight but a sharp pain in her side prevented that. She slowly lifted her shirt and saw a huge purple stitched up cut that only seemed to sting more when she touched it.

The room was pitch black, there was no chance of her seeing beyond her nose, so she decided to just keep her eyes closed until she found a light. She tried standing up, feeling the walls for any type of light switch, when her wrist got caught in the air. _They chained me to a pipe. Smart_. S.H.I.E.L.D never trained her for this. There was no seminar on what to do when you get captured by Hydra.

Still, she had to figure out why she was there, and she wasn't going to get any answers by waiting quietly. She had to use one of her hidden abilities, something Sam always told her she was great at... She had to be an asshole.

She start rattling her chain against the pipe. “Nice place you’ve got here, assholes!” She shouted. “I love this whole dark wave approach! How much is your electric bill?!” She heard footsteps outside the door. “Yo, did the dicks whose skulls I split live to see the sunrise? I’m just curious!”

The door swung open, letting in a severe white light that only made Mira’s headache worse than it was. She shielded her face and tried to see who it was.

Standing before her with a smirk on his face was notorious traitor, Brock Rumlow. Behind him was a tall round-faced blonde woman in a white lab coat and dark bruises on her face. She wasn't a threat, anyone could see that. Him? He was a definite threat.

Rumlow walked over to Mira and crouched down so that he was looking into her eyes. “Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?” He whistled and ran his fingers across her face. “Boy, the soldier sure does know how to pick em’.”

“He’s beautiful, we picked each other, you cunt.” She looked back at the young woman. “What are you, like 19? How did they get you in here?”

Rumlow slapped her hard across the face, then smiled. “Don’t talk to the doctor.”

“Is that how she got those bruises?” Mira asked. The doctor’s blue eyes were pleading with her to stop, so she did. “So, why am I here? I was promised an explanation.”

“You’re here because you fucked the wrong weapon.” He answered. “We want it back.”

“No clue what you’re talking about.” Mira raised an eyebrow. “I make love to men, not weapons.”

“He’s a man now, sure. Just wait until we get finished with him.”

“You’ll never get finished with him because he’s going to end your insignificant lives once he finds me.”

Rumlow stood up and laughed. “You are very, very bold, Miss. Wilson. Where does that come from? Your cousin? Your training? Or the soldier you’ve been fucking for the past two months?”

_Fuck off_. “It comes from me and a growing urge to slit your throat for threatening my boyfriend. Another question, where is this cut from?” She lifted her shirt.

“We needed to leave a message, and unfortunately our agents didn't draw nearly as much blood as we needed.”

“Cute. Very Stephen King of you. Glad I could be a part of it.”

He signalled for the doctor to come forward. She quickly approached Mira with her bag of medical supplies. First, she inspected the cut they’d made on her side, cleaning the area around it.

The doctor smiled at her. “It should heal quite nicely, it won’t hurt after a few hours as long as-”

“HURRY UP!”

The shaken woman flinched and continued to work. The doctor took out a stethoscope and placed it against her stomach. Mira watched her.

“What is she doing?”

“Checking to see if you’re fighting for two.”

“If I am?”

“We eliminate the problem.”

“If I’m not?”

“We eliminate any chances of there being a problem.”

Mira didn't know which route scared her more. She looked at the doctor who shook her head.

“No baby.” she told Rumlow. Before he could speak she interrupted him. “She must be on the pill, sir. There’s no need for surgery. In fact, I would advise against it due to her stress levels.” He looked down on her. Mira couldn’t watch this. “Sir, if she dies, we have nothing for the soldier to chase. She will die if we put her on that table.”

He grabbed her by her neck and slammed her against the wall. “DO NOT QUESTION HYDRA!" Mira watched in horror as she struggled to break free of his strong grip. Tears running from her eyes. She could tell he was like this often, but she wasn't sure she liked it or the inability to intervene. "GET HER READY.”

“Y-yes sir. Heil Hydra!”

“Heil Hydra.”

He let her go and she fell to the ground beside Mira. “After the surgery, we’re sending a little video to S.H.I.E.L.D, so we promise not to rough that pretty face up too much.” Rumlow left, slamming the door behind him. Mira spat in his direction.

The doctor was sobbing. “I’m so sorry…”

Mira turned to her and ripped off a piece of her sleeve for the young woman to use as a tissue. “What’s your name?”

“Doctor Katerina Grey,” she replied.

“That kid from the news that graduated med school at 13?”

The doctor rolled her eyes. _Oh, I never get tired of that..._ “Yeah, lucky me.”

“How’d they get you to do their dirty lab work, doctor?”

Katerina wiped her face. “My team found the old notes of the scientists who worked on the original super soldier serum. We created a batch. Hydra found out, and then they slaughtered my friends. They destroyed all those brilliant minds, then they took me captive.”

Mira raised an eyebrow. "Funny, I didn't see that on the news."

"They somehow convinced everyone I know that I'm on vacation in the Philippines." She chuckled half-heartedly between sobs. "I don't know why they chose the Philippines."

Mira laughed. "Popular destination, I guess...They want you to create more Winter Soldiers?”

“Yup. An army of brainwashed, tortured men, taking out everything in their paths. Like what your boyfriend used to be.”

It was worse than Mira feared. “Not while I’m alive.”

Katerina turned to Mira and shook her head. “Don’t try to fight them, they will kill you.”

“It seems like they were already planning to,” she said. “Besides, it’ll be fun. Knocking some heads around, kicking Rumlow’s balls in, it’ll be fun.”

“Fun? These are the most dangerous men on the planet.”

Mira laughed so hard that it hurt. “I've watched anime with The Hulk. These idiots can kiss my ass.” She took a deep breath and suddenly felt plunged back into reality. “In the meantime, was Rumlow bluffing about that ‘eliminating the chance of there being a problem’ thing?”

Katerina started sobbing again. “They have had a sterilization procedure planned since you arrived.”

“They’re sterilizing me?”

“Yes. I’m so sorry. I tried to change their minds but they’re all damn monsters!” She threw her head back onto the wall in frustration.

Mira tried to keep her cool. _This is bad, but I have to focus. I have to focus like Bucky focuses_. “My main priority is ending their mission. Whatever happens to me is insignificant. I need you to understand that, Katerina. Babies were never part of my life plan in the first place.”

“You never know, things could-”

“Just focus on keeping yourself alive. You’re a good person. Your research needs to be with good people.”

“What about you?”

“I’d prefer they have me than have Bucky.” She sighed and tugged at her chain. “I’m scary when I’m angry, but he’s terrifying.”

The door opened again minutes later. Rumlow had returned with two brutish agents and four other doctors ready to restrain Mira if and when she fought back. Katerina quickly stood up, trying to block their way to Mira.

“Is she ready?” Rumlow asked her.

Dr. Grey shook her head, frantically trying to think of an excuse. “She, um… She has a medical issue that would kill her if she came anywhere near our equipment and our untrained staff.”

They rolled their eyes. Rumlow snarled like a constantly angry rottweiler. “You’re a fucking disloyal liar.”

“She isn't lying.” Mira told them, suddenly remembering why she wasn't a field agent. “I have a weak immune system. A common cold can send me to the hospital.” She shrugged. “Should’ve read my file, bitches.”

Obviously, this excuse worked. Rumlow glared at her. “With us, Dr. Grey, right now. We have some matters to discuss.”

“She can’t prescribe you Viagra, I don’t think she’s that kind of doctor.”

He pushed Dr. Grey out of the way and gripped tightly on to Mira’s face. “You keep running your mouth we’ll send your heart to the Soldier in a box.”

“He already has it.” She said with a genuine smile. “Ladies and gentlemen, I've found his weak spot. It’s below his belt and it’s not much of people pleaser.”

Rumlow punched her and pulled Dr. Grey out of the room. “Take our big-mouthed guest into interrogation now!”

As the guards unchained her, she grinned. _Good thinking, Katerina… Good thinking indeed_.

 


	17. Nine Lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teensy note: The italics in this chapter double as inner thoughts and a flashback like the dream sequence from way back. Just thought you should know.  
> Enjoy <3

As soon as the helicarrier touched down in New York, Bucky was begging to see Mira’s apartment. He had to go in and see it for himself, the pictures weren’t enough.Just as he’d predicted, his friends were advising him against it. They had to try, even if they knew they couldn’t stop him. If they wouldn’t take him, he’d go on his own.

“You don’t need that yet, man. It’s going to throw you off.” Sam told him.

Bucky shook his head. “It’s going to make me focus Sam. I need to see where they took her.”

“It’s a crime scene,” Natasha explained. “The yellow tape alone is a heavy sight. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“It’s not a crime scene, it’s my girlfriend’s apartment. The apartment they stole her from to get to me. I don’t care if I don’t have the clearance, I want to fucking go.”

Steve stepped forward. “I think he should go. He might notice something we don’t.”

Natasha sighed. “He also might relapse. Or Hydra could have the place rigged.”

“He won’t relapse if we’re there.” Steve insisted. “I doubt Hydra has gone back to the scene. Come on, Bucky really thinks something is there!" 

Natasha and Sam exchanged looks, then they agreed to join.

Steve nodded. "We should go when it’s dark. There’s less of a risk of us getting in trouble with S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“We tell no one, we move quickly, we get out.” Bucky said. “The less people that know, the better our chances are of Mira getting out of this alive.”

“We’re still following your lead, Agent Barnes.” Sam said. “Mira would be, too.”

* * *

 

They waited until after midnight, when most of the other Avengers were sleep. Then, they slipped into their uniforms, fitting in any light weapons they could into utility belts, bags, and pockets. If the place was rigged, they were certainly prepared. Bucky waited with Steve by the door. His nervousness wasn’t apparent, but it was definitely there, and it was killing him.

“I miss her, too.” Steve whispered. “Not as much as you, of course, but I still miss her.” Bucky didn’t respond. “I imagined her and Pepper with a whole welcome back party set up, balloons and everything. Music playing… who’s that one singer she really likes?”

Bucky grinned. “Which one? Kanye West, Beyonce, or Daft Punk?”

“Beyonce. That’s the one! She had me listen to her and Kanye West once.”

“She really does love Beyonce. She’s always talking about taking me to a concert when she has the money…” He sighed and his grin faded. Just thinking about her felt painful, because he knew she was in pain. Pain was Hydra’s philosophy, naturally. “Funny, I imagined coming home after three months, kissing her… telling her how much I missed her...Taking a thousand pictures of her… Instead, all I have are pictures of her blood smeared on her bedroom wall because I have a bounty on my head from the sick bastards that took my life from me.”

“We’ll find her.”

He nodded. “I know. Hell, the more I think about it, the worse I feel for those sorry pieces of shit, because Mira is like steel. It’s going to take a lot more than torture to get rid of that girl. I know that for a fact.”

* * *

 

_“FUCK!” Mira shouted from the kitchen._

_Bucky ran in and saw blood running from her hand, she’d dropped the knife on the floor when she cut herself. He grabbed her hand and immediately ran it under hot water to clean it. “What did you do?!” He asked her._

_“Shit, that fucking hurts…” She hissed. “I was trying to cut the tomatoes and I sort of… missed the tomatoes.”_

_It was only their third date and Mira was already injured. This wouldn’t be the last time, unfortunately for Bucky._

_“That’s a lot of blood for just missing the tomatoes. Why were you using that much force?”_

_“It’s not the worst thing I’ve done to myself, believe it or not.”_

_Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. Mira had such a high tolerance for pain, it’s probably because she was reckless as hell. “I can believe it, actually. You are the only person I know who treats bar fights like they’re a sport.” He turned the water off and finally saw where she’d cut her hand above the palm. It was red, and needed to be covered quickly. “Got any Band-Aids?” Mira shook her head. “Why?”_

_She shrugged. “I cut myself all the time, I usually just suck the blood out and move on!”_

_“Why does that sound like something I do?” He asked himself._

_“Mostly because it is.”_

_“Well, it’s a bad habit.” He dug through her cabinets, top to bottom. Then, he gave her a questioning look. “Doll, do you even have a first aid kit?”_

_“I don’t.”_

_“Mira, baby, why?”_

_“I never got around to it!”_

_Bucky laughed even more than he had before. “I’m buying you a first aid kit tomorrow, but I have to cover this cut now...” He let go of her hand and quickly took off his shirt. Mira stared at his toned body and smirked, but he caught her. “Shouldn’t you be focused on your wound, Miss. Wilson?” She bit her lip and nodded._

_He ripped the collar of his shirt off and gently wrapped it around her hand. The fabric stung, and she flinched a bit, but she was so touched by the gesture. Bucky was so gentle with her all the time, always helping her with something; he was like a muscular brooding guardian angel._

_“That should do it until I get you a first aid kit... and a sense of adulthood.”_

_Mira rolled her eyes and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m grown as hell.” She picked up the knife and rinsed it off. “I’m a grown woman, I can do whatever I want.”_

_“You also appear to have nine lives.” Bucky paused and raised an eyebrow. “Was that a Beyonce lyric?”_

_“...Yes.”_

_“I’m buying you a first aid kit right now.”_

_“You’re not even wearing a shirt!”_

_“If I wear a coat, no one will ever know.” She laughed and let him go._

_Bucky returned about half an hour later with a first aid kit and a bag of chocolate chip cookies that they ended up sharing in bed, listening to soul music and talking about anything as usual._

_Mira looked up at him and grinned. “You know, Barnes, if I’m spending my nine lives with anyone, I’m glad it’s with someone who at least has a basic grasp of first aid. I would be fucked without you and my cousin.”_

_Bucky groaned. “Is that supposed to make me feel better about the fact that you are constantly putting yourself in dangerous situations? It was bad enough when I just had Steve to worry about. You two are the most stressful people to be around._

_“No, it’s not supposed to make you feel better. It’s supposed to make you kiss me.” She fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Besides, isn’t it more fun being with me if I’m in constant peril?”_

_He chuckled. “No, you fucking lunatic. You’re gonna give me a heart attack.”_

_“I’m your fucking lunatic and I need you here with me to put Band-Aids on my tomato wounds and tell me I’m cute.” She ran her fingers across the Band-Aid on her hand and smiled. “Maybe that’s why people like Steve and I exist; so people like you and Sam have something to do during the day. Someone to chase around and give you stress ulcers.”_

_“You’re just so damn cute…” He sighed and rolled on top of her. “One day I’ll win an argument against you.” He kissed her on the nose, making her laugh._

_“In your dreams, Bucky Barnes.”_

_His lips hovered above her’s, taking her breath away. “You seem to be forgetting the fact that I don’t sleep.”_

“Are you ready?”

The sound of Natasha’s voice pulled Bucky out of his memory. If only he could have stayed there forever…

“I’m ready, let’s go.”

* * *

 

They arrived at the apartment and snuck in under the yellow tape. S.H.I.E.L.D hadn’t yet cleaned the place, so everything was exactly as it was the night Mira was abducted with a few crimes scene markers scattered throughout.

For Bucky, it all felt very surreal. It was the apartment he’d come to really love. It smelled like Mira’s sugary perfume. At the same time, it was cold and empty. There was blood splattered on the walls, broken dishes, opened cabinets, and dimmed lights. It felt like he was entering a nightmare, a paradise distorted. One could argue that he was.

“She definitely didn’t go down easily.” Natasha said under her breath. “I looks like a war zone…”

“We were just here.” Sam whispered. 

Bucky signalled for them to split up. Natasha walked towards the kitchen. Sam inspected the bloody plank of wood Mira used the night she was taken. Steve checked the closet she’d hidden in. Bucky knew exactly where he needed to look first, so he slowly made his way towards the bedroom.

His feet felt as heavy as his heart. With every step, he felt the rage building in his core. He took deep breaths to keep himself from exploding, from making a mess and showing that he was at the scene. His hands curled into tight fists. It was difficult to be delicate while he felt like a ticking time bomb.

He walked into the bedroom and, avoiding the bed at first, saw the writing on the wall with his own eyes. _That’s a lot of blood…_ He couldn’t think about that, it would distract him. He began scanning the room for any evidence of Hydra. He looked on the floors, some agents were notorious for dropping things on their way out. The floor was clean. Then he pulled the blinds closed. Clean. He checked the shelves and her jewelry box. Every space in the room was clear of Hydra evidence.

He was becoming frustrated. There had to be a message somewhere. If they were really trying to lure him in, they’d leave a breadcrumb trail to their hideout to catch him.

An idea struck him. _Check the bed_.

He lifted the bedsheets, which were clean. Then he looked underneath the bed, it was clean there, too. Finally, he turned over the pillows. _There we go…_

It was another message written in blood:

**“Keep your phone by your side in case we call.”**

He moved the room back to the state it was before he’d gotten there. “Let’s move out, I got the message!”

 


	18. Interrogation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets fucking real.  
> The song mentioned in this chapter is: http://youtu.be/9yakzL1Q88c

Mira sat in the dark interrogation room alone for two hours. The silence was interrupted only by the painful screams of Dr. Grey from the room beside her. She couldn't imagine what Rumlow was doing to her, and she didn't really want to. She couldn’t do anything to stop him, she was strapped down to a chair, besides it only would have made her act irrationally. This was not a bar, it was life or death. So, she waited in silence as Katerina’s pain caused her to feel a sharp pain in her chest.

Suddenly, the door opened. Rumlow walked in with a folded chair, his face was splattered with blood. He wiped it off and locked the door before turning on the yellowish light. “How long have you been waiting, dear?” He chuckled. “Or should I call you ‘Doll’?”

Hearing the pet name Bucky used for her roll out of this pig’s mouth was like a knife twisting into her heart. “You can call me anything but that.”

“Alright then, darling.” He set the chair up in front of her, it took everything for her not to spit in his face. “I’m curious, how did you do it?”

Mira had zero patience for this. “Do what?”

“Seduce the Winter Soldier, how did you do it?” He sat down with a grin. “Decades of conditioning him, training him, sending him out to shape the history of the world; then you walk in with your bright smile and your-” His eyes wandered her body. “Impressive physique… You just break him down so quickly, how did you do it?”

She sighed. “I didn’t do anything but help show Bucky what was already inside of him.”

“Then you got him inside of you.”

She laughed. “I get it, I’m the Jezebel in this scenario, and he is the poor defenseless man intoxicated by my curves, right?”

“That’s right. Except by doing that, you’ve caused me a lot of fucking trouble.”

“Everything has its costs.”

Rumlow leaned in closer to her. His face was now inches from her’s. “Of all the scenarios we considered when we still had the Soldier in our custody, him falling in love with some loud-mouth bitch who sits at a desk all day was not even thought of.” He ran his hands along her thighs. “You must be a riot in the sack.”

_How dare you touch me you sick son of a bitch?_   “So I’ve been told.” She said. “Still, at least I’ve found a man who is aroused by loving women instead of hurting them.” She cocked her head to the side and stared into his eyes. “Is that what Dr. Grey is to you, huh? A play thing on your slow days? Does it make you nauseous with anger to think that she doesn’t want your flaccid, disappointing penis anywhere near her? Does it keep you up at night imagining your greatest weapon in bed with someone while you can’t even get a blowjob from a nymphomaniac?”

He slapped her hard across the face without hesitation or emotion. “Do you have any powers?”

Her face stung, he had to have been wearing rings or brass knuckles. “No. My ability is in combat. Your men can probably attest to that, I kicked their asses at my apartment.”

“Your cousin was in the military, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re friends with the Avengers, correct?”

“Not all of them, I’ve only met Thor once, but he is very tall.”

Rumlow laughed as if he’d heard the greatest joke ever told. Mira watched him closely, trying to figure out his angle. “You are an ordinary civilian woman surrounded by the world’s strongest heroes! You have surrounded yourself with reminders of your own shortcomings. You’re pathetic! You’re a pathetic, bitchy, ugly whore.”

Now Mira was angry. She felt the knife in her heart pushed to it’s deepest point. “What did you do to Dr. Grey, hmm?” She growled. “Do you call that power? Do you call that strength? Fuck, a rat can hurt a human being, a fire ant can hurt a human being, a bee can hurt a human being. What are those? They’re nothing. You’re nothing. When Bucky gets here, he’ll show you just how useless and small you are when he puts you out like a rabid dog.”

Rumlow stood, knocking the chair over in the process. He walked into the hallway. “BRING ME DR.GREY NOW!”

Moments later an agent ran over carrying Katerina in his arms. Rumlow told him to bring her into the interrogation room. Mira’s eyes widened as she examined Katerina’s thin, pale body; clothed in nothing but her underwear, covered head-to-toe in dark marks from being lashed with a whip and burned slowly with a cigarette. Some wounds were new, others looked months old. Tears began falling from Mira’s eyes when she realized that the good doctor must have passed out from the pain.

“This is power.” Rumlow told her. The agent dropped Katerina on the ground like she was a heavy bag of equipment.

“Is she dead?” Mira asked.

“Of course not, we need her to fix your mistake.” He walked over to her body and kicked it. “You know, she’s a prisoner like you.”

“Does it fucking matter, you sick Nazi douchebag?”

“She’s not a real Hydra doctor. She believes in mercy, justice, kindness. I’ve been trying to break her for months, to make her our perfect genius. She won’t break.” He leaned over Mira, wrapping a rough hand tightly around her neck. “You are going to be even more of a challenge, and I doubt I'll break your spirit. Still, I can’t wait to see the Winter Soldier crack your skull against the concrete wall. I can’t wait to see him destroy the very body he loves to worship in the name of Hydra. Of course, I do hope he let’s me get a turn first.”

Mira shook in her confinement with rage. Her heart was racing. All she wanted to do was put this bastard in the ground. “You wish you could have me. Bucky earned me. All you’ve earned is a shallow grave covered in dog shit and cigarette buds and that’s just what you’ll get.”

Rumlow punched her in the face. He took off her restraints and pulled her out of her seat. “You think you can fight, huh? You think you can fight like your lover? Let’s see you try! LET’S SEE YOU TAKE ME!”

Mira scratched his face and spat on him. She lifted her leg to kick him when he caught it mid-air and threw her on the ground. She tried to wiggle away and recover, when he kicked her hard in the stomach. He took out her cell phone and turned on the camera.

“Smile for your boyfriend, bitch.”

She looked away from the camera, fearing that Bucky seeing her bloody face would set him off. Rumlow took a picture, then grabbed her by her hair and took a picture of her face.

“I will see both of you soon.”

He slammed Mira's head into the ground and walked out of the room, leaving her sobbing. She didn’t want her friends seeing her this way. She didn’t want Bucky seeing her this way.

Her waist was in terrible pain. She crawled over to Kat and checked her pulse. _Still alive…_ She propped her up beside her on the wall.

_He’s never hurting either of us again._

* * *

 

Katerina woke up after a while, groaning in pain. Mira looked over at her and gave her a bit of space to stretch. She turned to Mira and inspected her wounds.

“You don’t look so hot.” She told her.

Mira laughed, even though it hurt. “Understatement of the fucking century. Rumlow got a few good licks in.”

“Are you in pain?”

“So much pain.” Mira squeezed her eyes shut as another wave of sharp pain rolled through her body. “It’s funny how quickly insecure men will snap their caps when you talk about how undesirable they are.”

“Snap their caps?”

“My boyfriend and his best friend are from the forties and they have infected me with their nonsense.”

They laughed. For a second the pain was gone. It was nice to have a laugh -maybe even a friend- in these kind of situations.

“I’ve never met anyone with a personal relationship with the infamous Winter Soldier before.” Kat said. “I hear about him all the time. I hear about nothing but his track record and how much Hydra needs him back.”

Mira looked down. “You want to know what he’s really like?” Kat nodded eagerly. “He’s an angel. He’d never believe me if I told him that, and sometimes he does make me want to throw something at his head, but those times are rare. He’s an absolute angel, and I love him.”

Kat turned her body to face Mira, like a child at storytime. “Tell me about one of your dates.”

Mira nodded in agreement, she needed to distract herself. “Alright so, we never got to go dancing because we didn’t want him to possibly be seen by Hydra. Still, the asshole was always bragging about how good of a dancer he was in the forties… because he’s an asshole…”

* * *

 

_“What do you want to listen to?” Mira asked. “I’ve been forcing Beyonce down your throat for a month, and I know you aren’t feeling it.”_

_“I like her.” Bucky insisted._

_“You don’t. What do you want to listen to?” Bucky shrugged. “That doesn’t help. What are old men really into? Frank Sinatra? Ella Fitzgerald?”_

_He rolled his eyes. “When are you gonna stop calling me old, Doll?”_

_“The second you stop calling teenagers ‘teeny-boppers’.”_

_“I like Billie Holiday.”_

_Mira smiled. “No shit.”_

_“What?”_

_“I’m not the first Black girl you’ve been with, am I?”_

_“How could you possibly have known that?”_

_“I can tell! What was her name?”_

_Bucky didn’t want to talk about this. It was common sense that a gentleman never talks about past girlfriends with current girlfriends. Still, this was an unconventional relationship with an unconventional woman._

_“Her name was Sarah Davis, she lived in the building next to mine.”_

_“Amazing.”_

_“I don’t see what the big deal is.”_

_“It’s a big deal to me, Bucky. I can’t explain why.” She turned on Billie Holiday’s ‘The Very Thought of You’ and started to sway to the rhythm. “Now come dance with me.”_

_“Really? Right now?”_

_She crossed her arms. “You and Steve both told me you were a great dancer.”_

_“Yes, ‘were’, as in past tense.”_

_“Oh come on! Please come dance with me?”_

_He looked up at her and she pouted. After a brief moment of hesitation, he stood up. Excitedly, Mira pushed the furniture out of the way so that they had room to move around. Bucky nervously placed his hand on her waist and took her right hand in his metal one. She smiled up at him, and he slowly began to feel more comfortable. He twirled her around, and pulled her even closer. A smile spread on his face. He remembered why he liked dancing so much. It was an excuse to be close to the girl he loved._

_“You aren’t too shabby,” Mira said._

_“I should say the same about you.”_

_She giggled and he raised an eyebrow. “Could Sarah dance?”_

_“Don’t ruin the moment.” He stopped dancing and kissed her. “Yes, she could.”_

_“You have a type.”_

_“Mira, please don’t._ ” _He dipped her. "She was my past, and you are my present."_

_She blushed and put her head on his chest, listening to him hum along to the music._

* * *

 

“He really loves you.” Katerina said.

Mira nodded then groaned. “But I’m afraid he’ll get himself captured over me.”

The good doctor sighed. “You’ll find a way around this. You’ll find a way out.”

“How do you know that?”

“Well, you’re still alive aren’t you?”

“Yeah, but I’d rather die than see them turn Bucky back into that thing. He’s worked far too hard to recover.” She was too frustrated to cry. She'd cried enough. “Then, to top it all off, Rumlow says he’d set him out on me.”

“What a sick piece of shit.” Kat ran her fingers through her hair. “The only way Rumlow would let you live is… No, that’s dumb.”

“I could use a little dumb, keep talking.”

“If you injected my modified version of the serum into your body.” Mira thought about it. Kat noticed her thinking about it, and noticed the grin that was forming on her face. “No.”

“Yes! Holy shit!”

“No, we haven’t tested it yet!”

“Dr. Grey, this is genius!”

“It’s really not.”

Mira grabbed her face. “If the serum is inside of me, and you destroy the rest, there’s no way they can make more versions of the Winter Soldier! Then, I can help Bucky kill these monsters! I can set you free, Kat! Help me get the serum?”

Kat sighed. “Alright, but don’t hate me if things go wrong.”

"I couldn't possibly hate you after this."


	19. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A relatively short but important chapter in which we find out where Mira is exactly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are nearing the end of this first part and the beginning of a new, fresh adventure with our lovely couple. I hope you enjoy the ending I've planned for People Aren't Weapons. The second part (which remains untitled because I am horrible at titles. People Aren't Weapons took five tries) starts off a little sad, but it picks up. Hopefully I'll find a way to incorporate Thor into the next part. HOPEFULLY. I'm actually considering doing a Thor or Loki fic with an OC of color (probably Loki because I love Jane and Thor too much as a pairing)... Idk.  
> Tell me what you think about this story, and anything else I've mentioned in this very long rant, in the comments. Thanks <3

This mission was stressful, and it only became more stressful the longer Bucky went without updates on Mira’s condition. Since Bucky was stressed, Steve was stressed. Since Steve was stressed, Sam was stressed. Then, they all bothered Natasha.

No one was putting more hours into this search than Sam and Bucky. They spent hours and days together looking for clues at the apartment, and around the neighborhood. Sam kept his phone as close as possible waiting for Rumlow to call. It's funny, being separated from Mira, who meant so much to them both, was bringing them closer than ever.

“If that low-life don’t call within the next two hours I might drink myself into a coma.” He said half-jokingly.

Bucky sighed. “I wish I could drink myself into a coma.”

Sam took another sip of his whiskey. “Do you think she’s alive?”

He grabbed the whiskey and took a gulp that burned his throat as it slid down, then gave the bottle back to Sam. “Alive? Yeah, of course, but who knows what they’ve done to her.” He looked up at Sam then looked back down. “I know what they did to me wasn’t pleasant, and they needed me alive. They can do whatever they want to her. That’s why I’m filling their sorry lungs with bullets, any bullets I can find. I’ll shoot them with their own guns.”

“Buck, you’re angry and you’re anxious and you’re being irrational.”

Bucky pounded his fist on the counter of the bar. “Am I, Sam?!”

“No, you aren't… I just… I can’t think about her being in pain, man. She’s my baby cousin. I used to put the kids who hurt her in the hospital, and I couldn’t even protect her from this.”

Bucky needed to take his mind off of things. "What was she like as a kid?"

Sam smiled. "Cute. A pain in my ass. Now, Mira as a college kid? That was interesting."

"How so?"

"She had her first boyfriend. Little asshole named Ravi or something. Kid played lacrosse and thought he was just hot shit." He started laughing. "She found him fucking her best friend, so she burned his clothes at a bonfire during Spring Break. Then, when he tried to win her back, she broke his arm."

Bucky laughed. "That's my girl."

"You two were really made for each other."

They laughed until silence fell over them. Talking about Mira was strange when she wasn't there to add her side, to tell it her own way in the theatrical manner she loved to tell stories. It felt odd for Bucky to laugh about Mira knowing she was in pain. Suddenly, he was plunged back into this reality, and he hated it.

“They could’ve taken her out of the state...”

“That seems practical. You would be far away from back-up. She wouldn’t know where to run.”

Bucky looked at the whiskey. “Sorry Sam, do you mind?”

Sam pushed the bottle in his direction. “Take the rest, I don’t want to get too drunk.”

Right as Bucky lifted the bottle to his lips, Sam’s phone rang. They looked at each other, then at the phone. Sam picked it up, it was a call coming from Mira’s phone. He answered it, then handed it over to Bucky and listened closely.

“Hello, is this Sam Wilson or The Winter Soldier?” Rumlow asked with a laugh in his tone.

“Neither, it’s Bucky Barnes. Where is she?”

“Hold on, don’t you want to know if she’s alive?”

“No, _you_ want to know if she’s alive,” he said through clenched teeth. “If she isn’t alive, I’m emptying every gun I can find into your intestines with The Avengers and every S.H.I.E.L.D agent she’s ever met behind me.”

“She’s alive, Soldier.”

****"Is she giving you a hard time?"

"Actually yes. Shit, if I wasn't on the job I'd go see how desperate she is to stay alive."

_Keep your hands off of her._ "Where is she, Rumlow?"

"In New Jersey, beneath an abandoned factory."

"Thank you for your co-operation."

Rumlow started to laugh. "Do you want to see her?"

A moment later a message appeared. Bucky opened it, and held it so that Sam could see. It was a picture of Mira, her face was bloody and bruised. One of her eyes was swollen. Rumlow was clearly holding her up by her hair. Sam couldn't look for more than a moment.

"She's quite the little model, don't you think?"

"When I get there-"

"Come alone. See you then, Soldier."

He hung up. Bucky slammed the phone on the table and went to go wake Tony up. 

* * *

 

Sam and Steve joined Bucky and Tony in the lab. They looked at the map as Tony tried to narrow the places down. There were abandoned factories everywhere, only one had Mira."

"New Jersey? Why?" Tony asked Bucky. "What would Jersey mean to a bunch of rogue Nazis?"

"I don't know, Stark, all I know is that's where Mira is."

"It's not much of a state, honestly."

Steve groaned. "Tony, focus."

"I am. Jarvis, where are the abandoned factories in New Jersey?"

"Well, they're in New Jersey, sir." The computer pinpointed every abandoned factory in the state.

"Which ones have lower level storage?" Sam asked. "Like a multi-level basement system."

"Three of them." The map pointed out three factories. Tony programmed all of the coordinates into his Stark Phone and handed them to Sam. "Have fun. Please get that woman out alive, she's kind of amazing. She also makes these snickerdoodles-"

"Thank you, Stark, I think we're done." Bucky said. 

Once they were out of the lab, Bucky took the phone from Sam. Sam gave him a confused look. "Rumlow told me to go alone, Sam. If you come, I won't be alone."

"That doesn't mean we ain't coming with you, man."

"Yes, it does."

Steve stepped forward. "No, it doesn't."

"Steve, please, let me do this on my own. If they see you two or Natasha or anyone else who has taken a step in this tower, they will kill Mira, or you. "

"What if they kill you?"

Bucky looked at him and Steve knew he couldn't possibly win this fight. He was going in alone. He didn't care what happened to him as long as Mira escaped. "They won't kill me."

With that, he went to pack for New Jersey.

* * *

 

The next morning, Steve went to Bucky's room only to find that he was long gone. He left after he and Sam went to sleep. There was a note on the bed that said 'don't follow me'. Steve sighed and thought about how mad Bucky would be if they went against his warning and followed him.

The thing is, Bucky would always find reasons to be angry with Steve. This would just have to be one of them.

Natasha knocked on the doorway. She had already suited up and grabbed her weapons. "He left, didn't he?" Steve nodded. "You ready to go follow him against his wishes?"

"Absolutely." He stood up and walked out.

Sam was standing by the door adjusting his wings. "Tony gave me a second set of the coordinates."

"Good, let's go. We can't let him get too far ahead."

 

 

 

 

 


	20. The Honorable Prisoner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is near, babies. Hold on to your butts.  
> I'll try to keep updating twice a week until the end, no promises though. I've been busy with senior year shit. I've gotten four college acceptances so far! Woohoo!  
> Thank you for your loveliness! Enjoy this chapter.

Humans cannot suffer alone. Dr. Grey had suffered alone for so long that meeting Mira felt like a Godsend. It was like she was with one of her sisters again. Mira was funny and kind even though she was in a lot of pain. Katerina just wished she could’ve known her outside of these conditions, and she also wished she didn’t have to risk her life with the serum.

Dr. Grey knew exactly how to get Mira to it when the time was right. Although she’d been opposed to the plan initially, it had grown on her. If anyone was going to live with this enhanced version of the serum, no one seemed more worthy than Mira.

On the seventh day of Mira’s imprisonment, while going through now daily health checks after Rumlow tried to fight her, Dr. Grey told Mira the first part of her plan.

“You want me to pretend to be sick?” Mira asked her.

The good doctor nodded excitedly. “Not just sick, violently ill.”

Mira didn’t get it, honestly she felt like an idiot for not getting it. “Explain to me why I have to be violently ill, because I’m missing something.”

Dr. Grey checked the hallway for nosy agents. Then she sat by Mira on the floor of the cell. “Rumlow has been beating the shit out of you since the first night you’ve been here, right?”

“He’s been trying to, yes.”

“Mira, honestly he’s been beating you shitless.”

“He’s gotten a few good punches in, but I did leave a gnarly bite mark on his cheek yesterday.” They laughed. “Explain the plan to me, Kat.”

“If you’re violently ill, I have to keep you alive and healthy in the lab. What else is in the lab? Super Soldier Serum Plus Frontal Lobe Enhancements or SSSPFLE.”

“Isn’t the serum itself already a frontal lobe enhancement?”

“No, it’s mostly physical, kinda like patriotic steroids.” Kat explained. “My version of the serum affects the body, but also the brain and the abilities of the brain. I just don’t know how it does that yet. I haven’t quite figured it out.”

“Yes! I’m a guinea pig!”

“Yay! I had a guinea pig…”

“Is the sapiffle going to hurt me?”

She laughed at Mira's attempt to pronounce the acronym and shook her head. “Probably just a mild uncomfortable migraine.”

“Migraines aren’t mild.”

“It could be worse.”

“Would it have hurt Bucky more?”

“Definitely, with the added bonus of his electric shock ‘therapy’, that’s unimaginable damage to the human brain.”

Mira took a deep breath. “Cool, so we’re doing this. How violently ill do I have to be?” Katerina reached into the pocket of her lab coat and pulled out a bright yellow pill in a container labelled ‘Operation Vomit’. Mira took it and smiled. “Cute name, could be better. I’m going to call this ‘Operation Spit and Shit’.”

Dr. Grey handed her a tiny bottle of water. “Operation Spit and Shit it is. The pill will make you vomit and give you a fever, but only for about an hour, which gives me enough time to get the serum ready. You should probably take it in about three hours. You won't actually be sick."

“Did you come up with this thing on your own?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t too hard.”

Mira nodded. “When we get the hell out of here, you’re gonna be my new roommate. I’m getting you a fucking job at S.H.I.E.L.D. with me, and I’m hooking you up with Dr. Banner.”

“Really?”

“Kat, you are someone the world really needs right now.” She held the pill up to her face. "This is incredible..."

The good doctor blushed and bit her lip. “Dr. Banner is hot and all, but I'd prefer you hook me up with Natasha Romanoff.”

“She’s seeing someone at the moment… I think… It’s complicated. Still, I like your taste. No wonder you aren’t giving in to Rumlow’s gross power fantasy.”

Kat giggled. “Yeah, as if the Nazi thing wasn’t enough to turn me off, I’m also a giant freaking lesbian!”

“Wait until he finds out. He’s gonna feel like such an ass.”

* * *

 

Mira was really good at taking things with a smile and a joke, but projectile vomiting was just not a great experience. There was no way she could smile through this. There was no way she could do anything through her mouth while this was occurring because she couldn’t stop vomiting.

“Dr. Grey, come qui-” She puked into the corner. She’d waited three hours as instructed, now she was just regretting everything.

Rumlow ran in with two other agents, then returned to the hallway when the smell of vomit hit his nose. Mira moved her hair out of her face and just let loose in their direction.

“I’m fucking sick, I want to see Dr.Grey!”

Rumlow snarled. “We’ve noticed."

Mira walked closer to him in an attempt to hit him with her vomit. She just barely missed his feet. "Take me to Dr.Grey now!" She looked up and noticed a dark crescent shaped scar on his cheek, then smirked when she realized how he got that. "Oops, did I do that?"

He snarled and pushed her in the direction of the other agents. "Take her to the lab before she makes the whole basement smell!”

The other agents quickly dragged her up the stairs, people cleared the hallways as Mira vomited more and more. When she made it to the lab, they put her on the table on her back. Dr. Grey entered and suppressed a smile.

_It worked! I made my own drug!_ It was something she’d always dreamt of doing, and it worked exactly as planned! Despite her excitement, she had to immediately get into character. “Why would you put her on her back you imbeciles! She could choke on her own vomit!” She turned her on her side. “Have none of you been to a college party?” The agents watched Mira vomit, and Dr. Grey rolled her eyes. “Do you think this is a show? Get the hell out of here!”

“We were told to-”

“I don't give a fuck.Tell Brock I don’t work well with an audience, shoo!”

They walked out of the room and, when they left, Katerina squealed with excitement. “Here, Mira, I’m made an antidote for the Spit and Shit. It also makes your breath minty fresh, since vomiting makes you smell like a potty.”

Mira sat up straight and took the cup of clear liquid from Dr. Grey, practically inhaling it. It tasted like air, but it worked almost instantly. “Thank God, I wasn’t pregnant.” She said. “That vomit shit is brutal.”

“Yeah, it’s probably for the best you’re on the pill. Although I don’t see you and Bucky being bad parents at all.”

Mira grinned. She noticed a vial of purple liquid in the corner underneath a bright light. Katerina walked over to them and lifted them up to inspect the color closer. “It’s ready.” Mira groaned loudly. “What? Oh my goodness, are you having doubts?”

“No, no, I’m just… Having doubts.”

“That’s a sane reaction.” Katerina sighed and sat by her side. “Tell me everything that’s on your mind.”

“What if none of this helps in the end?  What if they kill me and just take my blood so they can have the serum somehow?”

“They won’t.”

“They could.”

Kat could see the fear in Mira’s eyes. It wasn’t fear for herself, it was fear for Bucky. This is why she stopped doubting the plan, Mira was selfless. She stood up and picked up the vial of serum, then plugged it with a cork and handed it to her friend. Mira leaned away from her hand, refusing to take it.

“Take it when you feel the time is right. I just want to make sure it’s in your hands.”

“What about needles?” Katerina picked up a needle and sterilized it. Then, she put it in a clean plastic bag. “Kat...”

“Mira, this is a great idea. You should do this.” She held her face in her hands. “You don’t realize this, but you are the super soldier that we waited for when Steve Rogers was packed in ice. If Hydra kills me, I want to know that a true soldier has the serum."

Mira couldn’t believe her ears. Dr. Grey just compared her to Steve fucking Rogers. There was no comparison, there couldn’t have been.

“Doctor, I’ve met Steve Rogers. I am no Steve Rogers.”

“You’re honorable, so is he. That’s the whole reason Steve was even chosen.”

"I've never been in active combat."

"But you're trained for it. Promise me you'll keep it safe."

Mira sighed and stuck the vial in her bra. "You aren't dying, let's start there." She pulled Dr. Grey into a tight hug. "I'll keep it forever, Kat. I'll... I'll be your soldier."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! Chapter 25 will be the first paragraph of the unnamed sequel!!  
> I'm excited.   
> Help me pick a title for Part Two:  
> a) Love on the Run  
> b) The Soldier's Girl  
> c) Regret and Rebuild  
> d) Not Dead Yet  
> Just tell me which sounds best in the comments!


	21. Final Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies and dolls! Thank you for reading up to this chapter and being supportive. Things are gonna get interesting. I hope you like where I go with this.  
> As we draw closer to the end, I am working with some friends and fellow fic writers to work out the plotline for the sequel at the moment, and I expect to have the first chapter done by the end of February!  
> Remember to help me choose a title for the sequel in chapter 20.

**2:30 AM- THE WINTER SOLDIER IS EXPECTED TO ARRIVE AT ANY MOMENT**

The hideout was buzzing with activity and preparation. Agents were running in all directions, combing the area to make sure Bucky hadn’t already arrived. Kat and Mira sat in their cell, as was ordered by Rumlow. This gave them enough time to talk things through, to solidify a back-up plan, and say any possible goodbyes.

Kat checked Mira’s wounds and her blood pressure. She made sure she was clean and in little pain. “It’s like I’m your bridesmaid and Bucky is the groom.”

Mira grinned. “Does that make Rumlow my drunk, belligerent uncle who objects to our marriage?”

“Basically, yes.” Kat took the ponytail holder out of her own hair and tied Mira’s up. “You should look beautiful for him. As beautiful as the night they dragged you in here. Bucky won’t notice any changes.”

“Thank you, Kat.” Mira thought about seeing Bucky after all the hell she’d been through. She couldn’t imagine things being the same, but would they be better? What would this change? She felt like she’d changed, has he? “You got a girl waiting for you on the outside?”

The doctor shook her head. “I wish, I’ve been devoted to my work for years.”

“You’ll find a lady who is completely worthy of you and your mind.”

“I hope so.” They heard Rumlow shouting in the hallway. The sound didn’t make Kat jump for once. She decided to not be afraid of him anymore.“He’s like a rabid dog, I’m pretty sure a car horn could make him explode.”

Mira shook her head. “You have to hit a nerve with him. He’s filled with rage, but he only uses it to intimidate.”

They heard him shouting loudly for everyone to get in their posts. He command a team of three guards to stand in front of their cell. He didn’t care what happened to Mira, only that Bucky couldn’t get to her.

Kat thought about the possibility of Rumlow ordering for their executions, she decided to take emergency precautions. “I’ll put the serum into the needle, just in case…”

* * *

 

**3:00 AM- THE WINTER SOLDIER ARRIVES AT THE HIDEOUT**

The cover of night was Bucky’s strongest battlefield. He’d combed every location on Jarvis’ map. He’d walked for hours, snuck onto trains, even hitched rides on the roofs of buses.

This was the last one, and it was the right one. An old chocolate factory just outside Camden, the gate was rusted to the point of fragility. He hopped over it and ran into the factory, ready to take on anyone standing guard.

A lone guard stood watch at the front entrance. They’d expected him to go through the back, so most guards were in the back. The guard watched in fear as Bucky charged towards him. He tried fighting back, he even tried making noise, but it was useless. He was dead with a swift cut to the throat, his body fell to the ground with a thud.

Bucky picked up his jacket and his id, making sure to cover his face and hair. He also picked up his gun. Then he made his way further down into Hydra’s hideout.

_I’m on my way, Doll…_

* * *

 

**3:15 AM- CAPTAIN AMERICA, FALCON, BLACK WIDOW ARRIVE AT THE HIDEOUT**

Steve snuck onto the factory grounds moments later, with Sam and Natasha in tow. They’d successfully followed Bucky undetected the entire way.

They found the guard laying on the ground in a pool of his own dark crimson blood. Steve smirked. “At least we know he isn’t in the mood to take prisoners.”

“I wouldn’t be in the mood either.” Sam inspected the body closer. “He stole his uniform and his weapons. Dude died with his hand on his gun holster.”

“Who would fight Bucky?” Natasha asked. “He obviously deserved to die.”

Steve nodded. “Let’s go in, try not to make a sound.”

* * *

 

**3:36 AM- THE WINTER SOLDIER PASSES CROSSBONES**

Rumlow was wondering why no one was reporting from the front gate, so he was on his way there with three replacement guards, ready to beat the shit out of anyone he found suspicious. Their greatest weapon was on it’s way and no one would ruin the moment.

Meanwhile, Bucky was walking in the opposite direction, he was completely unrecognizable. Perfectly in character.

Rumlow ran into him. “Agent, where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“You told me to guard the prisoner, I was looking for her cell!” He replied in a nasally voice. “I just don’t know where it is, sir.”

“Half of the agents in this place are idiots.” Rumlow rolled his eyes. “Incompetent son of a bitch!” He pushed him towards the other side of the hall. “Down the hall, second room on the right. The door is unlocked. Don’t fuck it up. Don’t let that whore influence you.”

Bucky walked in the direction of the cell with an excited smile on his face, concealed by his disguise. _Never was the brightest bulb, that one…_

* * *

 

**3:40 AM**

Mira paced the room. The action managed to pick up as the night progressed. She was nervous and excited because she knew Bucky was close. He was here. Why else would everyone be scrambling like ants?

Kat tried to listen to the action outside the door. The door was heavy, but she could hear some things with her ear pressed against it. “Something’s happening, I think an agent is missing!”

“Either he’s here or aliens have arrived.”

“Are you excited to see him?”

“Kat, I was worried about never seeing him again. Excited is an understatement.”

“What’s he going to think about the serum?”

“He’ll yell at me.” Mira said with certainty. “ Not in a hurtful way, he just wouldn’t want me to have it. He knows what the serum feels like, and he already thinks I’m reckless, this would probably give him a heart attack.”

Kat giggled. “Over protective?”

“No, he’s completely right, I’m reckless. I’d jump off a mountain if there were a seven percent chance of survival. It’s for the best that he’s around.”

“Is that why you keep fighting Rumlow back?”

“No, I keep fighting him back because he’s a dick, and  if I have the chance to kick his ass, I’m going to use it.”

There was a loud thump from outside the door. Kat moved away, Mira pulled her behind her. There wasn't any screaming, only punching. Someone was plowing through the guards outside.

"Rumlow?" Kat asked.

"Bucky?!" Mira asked. The stranger walked through the door, pulling the corpses in with him, and closing the door behind him. The Hydra uniform made Mira go into her fighting stance. Then, he took off his disguise. Her heart practically stopped beating. Kat gasped behind her. "BUCKY!"

Mira ran up to him, wrapping herself around him. Her ribs were still bruised so it hurt, but she didn't mind.

He moved his head to see her face, her beautiful smiling face. Then, he kissed her. The warmth of her lips reminded him why he came all this way. He could feel her heart racing against his chest. He put her down, holding her face in his hands. He stared into her eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"You have no clue how happy I am to see you, Doll."

She smiled and ran her fingers along his face. “You haven’t shaved. You probably haven’t slept, have you?”

He shook his head. “I haven’t thought about it. It was so uncomfortable even attempting to sleep without you. Sam and I spent entire days waiting for anything from Hydra. As soon as I had an idea of where you were, I came running. I couldn’t stand waiting while you were here. I love you so much.”

She’d waited so long to hear him say it, it was almost surreal. She felt herself beginning to cry. “I love you too.”

He wiped the tears from her face. He knew their time was limited, he knew they were in danger, he just didn’t care. If anything was going to fuck up this escape, why couldn’t it be this?

He kissed her again. “I was afraid they already killed you.”

“No, baby, just a few broken ribs and a busted up face. I wouldn’t let them get to me, and I certainly wouldn’t let them get to you.”

Bucky smiled. “Busted up face? You look as beautiful as the last time I saw you.”

They heard the high-pitched sirens ringing amidst shouting agents outside. She turned around to Katerina, who’d been watching the whole thing with a smile on her face. “What’s that, Kat?”

“It signals a break in, we should go now!”

The look in Bucky’s eyes darkened, it even freaked Mira out. He let go of her and readied his gun. It was like he re-focused himself on the mission. The images of Mira that Rumlow sent him were imprinted on the inside of his eyelids. He couldn't just let this go. “I’m not leaving until every Hydra dog in this building is a corpse.”

 


	22. Collateral Damage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't very Valentine's Day appropriate and I'm sorry.  
> But hey.  
> What are ya gonna do?

Mira and Bucky didn't fight often. Bucky didn't like yelling at Mira, Mira wasn't too fond of arguing with anyone. Mira also didn't want Bucky doing something stupid in the name of revenge. So, the fighting was necessary.

"Promise me that if you walk out there, you won't do something irrational."

"Nothing irrational. I'm just going to blow their brains out."

Mira shook her head. "That's exactly what they want.”

“They want me to kill them?

“They want you to lash out. There's no need to fight them off, Bucky, I have what they need."

Bucky lowered his eyebrows and walked closer to her. "What do you mean, Mira?

_You’re not gonna like this...._ Mira pulled the needle out of her bra. Bucky was extremely confused, but something about it just gave him the worst feeling. "It's Dr. Grey's version of the super soldier serum. It's enhanced to affect mental ability."

The blood drained from his face. "Baby, give it to me."

"No, I promised I'd keep it." She put it back into her bra.

"I will reach in there and pull it out, Mira. Give it to me."

"I don't want it near you!"

"Yeah, well, I really don't want that shit anywhere near you!" He tried to keep his voice from getting any louder. "You don't even know what that could do to you!"

"Please, Bucky, you know how sickly Steve was before the serum! I'll be fine."

"Mira, please, let me have it, I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'm already hurt." She took his hand, knowing that would cause him to relax and listen to her. "I'd prefer it kill me than kill you. Dr. Grey told me that they were planning to inject this into your system, and then wipe your memory. Combined, that could have killed you or seriously damaged your brain. I couldn’t let that happen!"

Bucky turned to Kat. "You gave the serum to her?"

Kat nodded slowly, afraid of the stories she's heard about Bucky’s destructive power. "Y-yes. She has a 99% chance of survival. We just have to out of here and go somewhere she can inject it safely and under supervision of a doctor."

"Preferably that doctor."

Bucky sighed. He wasn't at all for this plan, but his baby was headstrong. It's one of the reasons he loved her.

"Alright, fine but don’t expect me to feel good about this.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

The activity in the hallway increased. Mira grabbed the rifle and the jacket from one of the dead Hydra agents in the room, and tossed a handgun to Kat. Bucky covered his face back up.

"Stay close and stay behind me."

Mira smiled. "I'll cover your six."

Bucky grinned and winked at her. "Let's go."

They ran out with a small crowd of passers by, completely undetected, until an agent behind Mira caught a glimpse of her face. He tried to strike her, but she kicked the nightstick out of his hand and slammed him into the wall. The other agents quickly turned on them. Bucky and Mira beat most of them unconscious with their rifles before Bucky shot one of the agents in both of his legs.

“What the hell?” Mira asked. “What did I just tell you about being irrational?”

“You could at least let me have that! I promise I won’t do anything else like that.” He pulled her forward. “We still have a chance of getting out through the back, Doll. Not all is lost.”

Mira turned to Kat who was following behind them as closely as she could. “Are you alright Dr. Grey?”

Kat nodded. “You two are a machine!”

Bucky chuckled. “You should see us do paintball.”

* * *

They found the the long corridor leading to the back stairwell. Mira and Kat smiled at each other excitedly, they were finally getting out. They were getting out alive. They could go back to their lives, and they would never lose contact with each other.

Until…

“Where do you think you’re going, Soldier?”

They turned around. Rumlow was standing at the end of the hallway with a small militia of Hydra agents. Their guns were pointed straight for Mira. Both Bucky and Kat stood in front of her. Kat touched the vein she’d instructed Mira to inject the serum into, just in case.

“I’m leaving with the woman I love and the doctor you’ve been forcing to do your dirty work.” Bucky told him.

Steve, Natasha and Sam ran in through an adjacent corridor and stopped behind Mira, Bucky and Kat. Mira ran right into Sam’s arms. Bucky would have to talk to them about not doing what he asked them to do later.

“Put the guns down and let us all leave.” Steve told Rumlow.

Bucky shot a warning shot at their feet. “You know damn well what I’m capable of.”

Dr. Grey started walking forward with her hands raised. “I will surrender myself, just let them go free.”

Mira ran after her, but Bucky caught her by the waist. “Katerina!”

“If you have me, you can make all the super soldiers you want, you don’t need him anymore. He’s too far gone for your shock treatments. You would have to go back to square one or kill him.”

“Kat, you don’t have to go back to them!” Mira shouted.

“No, Miss. Wilson, she does.” Rumlow said with a smile. He opened his arms to her.

Mira tried to wiggle out of Bucky’s grip, but he had her in his metal arm. “FUCK YOU! DON’T GO TO HIM, KAT!”

Katerina walked into Rumlow’s arms. Bucky let Mira go. As soon as Mira had gotten close enough, Rumlow pulled out his handgun and pointed it at her head.

“If you come any closer, I’m blowing your fucking brains out!”

“Kat, you’re too good for them. You know it!”

Kat had tears streaming down her face. She had to do something. She had to end this somehow. Too many people suffered because of the project they’d forced her to work on. Too many people died in order for Hydra to even have her as their captive doctor. Enough was enough. She couldn’t let this go on any longer. “I was always meant to die here, Mira.” She told her. “I was meant to die, you were meant to live.”

Mira shook her head. “We can make it out of here, Kat! Come on!”

“Bucky, you have an amazing girlfriend. She’s the real soldier here, okay? Don’t fuck it up.” She pulled a knife from Rumlow’s utility belt and jammed it into his thigh. He wailed and shot her straight through the temple.

Mira screamed. Everyone stood back in shock, even some of the Hydra agents. Mira fell to her knees. Rumlow watched her and began to laugh. He even threw Kat’s lifeless body in her direction.

“I should’ve killed both of you bitches when I had the chance!”

Mira pulled the serum from her bra, and suddenly he’d stopped laughing.

Bucky shook his head. “Mira, DON’T!”

She couldn’t hear him. The shock was clouding her judgement and suddenly all she could think of was her promise to Kat. She put the needle into her vein and injected the entire vial into her system.

Rumlow pointed his gun at her head. Bucky grabbed Steve’s shield and ran in front of her, pulling her away. Natasha pulled out a smoke grenade and rolled it out so they could make a clean escape. Rumlow directed the agents to run in the opposite direction and they all fled the scene within seconds.

* * *

They were making their way up the stairwell. Mira tried running at the same pace as everyone else, but her body was beginning to ache badly. The serum was moving through her bloodstream at a quick pace, making her vision blurry and her motion slow. Bucky noticed her lagging behind.

“Wait!” he shouted. He pulled Mira’s arm over his shoulders and started dragging her up. “Stay with me, Doll!”.

“What was in that needle?!” asked Sam.

“The same shit that’s in me and Steve plus something else!”

Mira was fighting to stay awake, but she could feel herself fading. Sam took her other arm so that they could get out of the building faster. She turned to him and grinned.

“I love you, Sam. You're my only real family...”

His eyes widened with panic. “Oh hell no, don’t do this to me now!”

She looked over at Natasha. “Nat, you’re one of my best friends on this earth.”

Natasha reached the door to the outside and kicked it open at hard as she could. “That’s right, and you’re not dying on me!”

“Steve, you’re like the brother I never had. You have given me so much inspiration since the first day we met and I need you to know that.”

Steve helped Sam and Bucky get her out quicker. “Mira, save it for later!”

“Bucky, I-”

“I am not having this fucking conversation, Mira! STAY WITH ME!”

“I love you so much, baby…”

“STAY AWAKE, DAMMIT!”

They made it about a mile from the hideout when Mira slumped forward. The serum exhausted her, and she’d collapsed. Bucky panicked. He put her down on the ground and gently smacked her face trying to wake her up.

“Is she alive?” Steve asked.

Bucky checked for a pulse. It was there, and it was quick. “She’s alive!” He leaned down and checked to make sure she was breathing. “She’s breathing, she just…” He desperately kissed her lips trying to wake her up. “She’s burning up! We have to get her out of here!”

Sam spotted a black suv in the distance. “That must be a Hydra vehicle. We can get her in there and be back in New York in two hours.”

Bucky nodded. He picked her up and they ran over to the suv. _Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me. I won’t let anyone else hurt you. Please, Mira… I love you.._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this multi-drabble fic sitting in my google docs titled "Bucky+ Mira+The Holidays" which would give you the Valentine's Day lovin' you really deserved in place of all this pain, along with ugly Christmas sweaters and couples Halloween outfits. I might do that after the second part or right before it. I don't know. It's just something I've been doing to overcome writer's block and stay in character.


	23. Super

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mira wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is THE LAST CHAPTER. Are you feeling sad? Excited? Disappointed? What are you hoping to see from Bucky and Mira in Part Two? Tell me in the comments! Thanks for reading <3

It was all a blur. Bucky remembered bits and pieces of the long car ride to Avengers Tower. He remembered holding on to Mira as tightly as he could. He remembered Steve stopping traffic as they carried her inside and getting yelled at by New Yorkers who just didn't know any better.

He remembered the other Avengers and Pepper running to see her and see what had happened to her. He remembered Tony setting up a place in the lab for her, and thanking him for his thoughtfulness. He remembered Bruce warning him to stand outside while they checked her status, just in case this was the end. He remembered waiting for hours while they made sure the love of his life was still in his life.

Then, he remembered her pulse returning to normal. He remembered seeing the physical changes as she gained muscle in her sleep. He remembered thinking about how beautiful she still was. Then he remembered watching her sleep for three days.

_How can the world go on around her? How could the world just continue as normal when Steve and I were trapped in ice? They don't know there's a third super soldier in Avengers Tower now. Should they?_

He sat by her as she slept. He wouldn't talk to her, just watch her chest move up and down as she took deep, steady breaths. Silently thanking the universe for keeping her alive and well. He knew nothing would’ve gone so smoothly had she not been alive.

"How is she?"

Nick Fury stood at the door of the lab. Steve had sent word that Mira had injected the serum, he decided to see for himself. He didn't know that she and Bucky were close.

"She's breathing. That's enough for me." Bucky replied.

Nick sighed. "Agent Barnes, how do you know Agent Wilson?" Bucky kept his eyes forward. "Captain Rogers said you went on this mission alone. Sounds personal."

"I love her."

"You loved her enough to risk being returned to Hydra?"

"It sounds fucking crazy, doesn't it?"

Fury shrugged and walked closer to them. "Maybe it is, but crazy saved this woman's life. I also remember a time when you tried not to get attached to people."

"I thought it was smart."

"She must be worth something then."

"She's a hell of a woman."

"Well, she is related to Sam."

"She's cuter than Sam."

Fury laughed then headed for the door. "Just make sure there aren't any side effects. The last thing we need is another Loki going apeshit in New York."

“I hear that.”

He stopped at the door when he remembered a message he had to pass on. “Oh and Steve says you need to eat something.” Bucky groaned loudly. “She’ll be here when you come back, motherfucker.”

* * *

Bucky knew Mira would wake up soon, so he tried making her comfortable. He dimmed the lights in the lab, Sam made a playlist for him to play as she slept, and he made sure she had soft pillows. The only time he left the lab was when Sam and Steve made him leave.

"What if she wakes up?!" He asked them. He kept trying to push them off and run back, but they were really good at restraining him. "I have to be there!"

"We're right upstairs!" Sam said. "She's stable and she's more than comfortable, you act like she's having a baby!"

"I know, I just-"

"You need to relax and eat! If you're stressed, she'll be stressed. She's sensitive to stuff like that."

“I’ll tell you something else she’s sensitive to unless you let me go!” Sam immediately let him go, and Steve laughed.

“Just come up and eat.” Sam told him. “Get out of the lab for a bit. She’s fine.”

Bucky looked down. “Why haven’t you visited her yet, Sam?”

"You know why." Sam sighed. Bucky knew the answer, he just wanted him to say it. He secretly felt the same way. “I can’t see her like that, man.”

He nodded. “I know… Let’s go eat.”

“Good! It’ll take your mind off of things.” Steve said, pushing Bucky up the stairs.

“It won’t, but that’s a nice thought.”

* * *

Bright lights pierced into Mira’s eyes. Her head was pounding like never before. She felt like she'd hit her head on metal. She could faintly hear an old Fall Out Boy song playing from the small speakers in the corner of the room. Her body felt hot, not feverish, just… baked. Like a cake. Her arms and legs felt like achy lead weights holding her down. She lifted her head and looked at her arms. _I’m fucking built. Shit, I could punch Steve! I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t punch Steve…_

She sat up and looked at her muscles, stretching and flexing her arms slowly. She watched every muscle in her arms appear bigger than ever before. She was pretty fit before, but this was new territory.

She stood up slowly, her new muscle weight would take time to get used to, that’s for sure. She lifted up and shirt and saw a fresh row of unreal abs, shimmering with sweat. She’d kept her hips and ass, but lost a bit of her stomach. Probably the strangest physical effect was the hair growth. She’d gained an inch in her sleep. Unfortunately she didn’t seem any taller.

_I’m still looking up at Bucky but at least I know I can kick his cute ass..._

Tony walked into the lab at Bucky’s request to check on Mira. When he got down there, he saw her standing up. Her hands were tangled in her hair. She looked over at an older Iron Man suit and went to go test out her new strength.

Curiously, he stepped forward, watching to see if there was really a new super soldier in the house. Mira went over to the suit, lifted it above her head with one arm and hurled it in Tony’s direction.

“Don’t ever sneak up on me!” She shouted. The statement was angry, but her eyes were filled with excitement.

Tony smiled. “Agreed!” He pushed the suit back out to her. "Hulk, smash."

Mira smiled back at him and let out a cheer before slamming her fist into the chest of the suit. The dent nearly sunk into the floor. Tony stared with amazement at her. He couldn't believe this was his friend.  _I'm incredible..._

 

* * *

Bucky, Sam, and Steve couldn’t hear a damn thing. They were too busy laughing about past missions and memories for two hours. They were even joking about when Bucky started to date Mira.

“You two eye-fucked the second you first met.” Sam said. “I’m pretty sure all she had to do was wink and you’d be trapped in her spell.”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, honestly for the longest time I thought you two were trying to play matchmaker.” Sam and Steve exchanged surprised looks. “It’s crazy, you’d never do that.”

“Should we tell him?” Sam asked Steve in a whisper.

Steve shrugged. “I don’t know, he might not take it well.”

“He’ll think it’s funny.”

Bucky laughed. “You sick fucks, Mira and I already figured it out!”

“How?”

“We were having sex on the couch this one time, things got really heavy, and she found your little notes stuffed in the cushions.” They looked down at the couch they were presently sitting on and back up to Bucky.

"We eat on this couch!" Sam said gravely, almost as if he'd regretted even starting this conversation in the first place.

"Evidently, so do I." Bucky retorted. “Don’t worry, we cleaned up afterwards. I just live for the looks on your faces.”

Tony ran up to them from the lab with a huge grin on his face. “Hey, Bionic Man, you gotta get down there!”

They all stood up.

“What?” Bucky asked.

“Your girlfriend is a super soldier!” They heard a loud, sudden crash. “Oh, I’m letting her toss my old suits around. She seems to be enjoying herself, come and see!”

 


	24. For Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of part one! It's been awesome! The next chapter will be the first two paragraphs of part two. See you soon! <3

Mira wasn't used to feeling powerful and strong. She wasn't used to the adrenaline rush she was getting just by crushing an obsolete Iron Man suit. It was strange, it was great. It was also a little scary.

Tony brought Bucky, Sam, and Steve down to the lab to see her in action. She'd just torn the left arm from the armor when she saw Bucky and dropped it.

"I-I did that!" She exclaimed.

Bucky nodded and walked closer to her. "You did..."

"I can... I can tear Tony's armor."

"You can."

"I've never been this strong."

Mira's smile dropped. It only just hit her that it was possible to destroy the suit with Tony in it. Her strength could break bone and push grown men to their deaths. She could hurt people.

"I'm a soldier..."

Sam grinned. "You were born a soldier, kid."

"Wh-what if I can't control myself?" She asked. "I just felt enough adrenaline to cloud my judgment. What if that happens in the field?"

"That's why we're here." Bucky told her. "I'm afraid of the same thing when I go out."

She backed away from them. _What else can I do? How destructive am I?_ "Do you think I can handle this?"

Bucky took her hands in his. "Maybe not, but you don't have to do it alone."

She smiled again and kissed him. "We're together again."

"For good this time."

"I love you, Bucky."

"I love you, Mira."

* * *

Mira spent the afternoon testing her abilities with the Avengers as an audience. Natasha even gave her beer to see if she couldn't get drunk anymore. She couldn't, and that made everyone a little sad.  Still, there was one thing about the serum’s effects that was baffling her. She couldn't explain why.

Bucky ordered her a pizza and they spent hours catching up. They picked up right where they left off, but they were even happier now. Mira was also really glad to see pizza. It had been a while.

"What's the story of Dr. Grey?" Bucky asked her. "You two seemed close."

"She's... She was a kid genius. She was a big deal to teenage girls around the city because, you know, girl power. She went to high schools teaching little science and engineering classes to teenage girls. She was a robotics and genetics expert. Hydra kidnapped her and killed her lab mates. She offered me help, I told her..." Mira choked up but fought her way through it. "I told her I would get her out alive."

"Oh, I get it. You feel like you didn’t do enough."

A tear ran down her cheek. “I know there’s nothing I could’ve done. She just didn’t deserve to… It’s not important.”

“We can talk about something else.”

"No, I want to talk about Kat. I have to, it’ll keep her alive somehow. She talked to me about anything. Turns out she'd been there almost a year. We became friends. She really wanted me to have the serum. She thought I was like Steve."

"You are." He said with a grin. "Except you're beautiful, and really pretty in a dress."

"I'm sure Steve looks great in a dress."

They laughed. Mira took a huge, immensely satisfying bite of her pizza. She let out an involuntary moan as the taste hit her tongue. Hydra had her on a diet of water and bread. This was heaven.

"So what was the frontal lobe enhancement?" Bucky asked.

Mira shrugged. "I'm trying to figure that out myself."

"Is it like Carrie?"

"Who the fuck told you about Carrie?"

"Tony."

"I'm gonna kick his ass." The truth is, she'd wondered this herself. As a young girl, she would pretend to be Matilda and try to make spoons of cereal float to her lips. Telekinesis was always a dream, now it might have been a reality. "Let's test that out..."

She looked around the room for something to lift. _My phone? No... Too small. The lamp? No... Steve's shield? Do I dare touch the shield? Hmm..._ She focused on the shield, and within moments it started to float above the ground. Bucky's mouth hung open.

"What... The fuck?"

"It's like Carrie!" She squealed, lifting it higher and higher. "It's exactly like Carrie!"

“Make it come over here!”

With her thoughts, it drew closer and closer to them. Bucky reached out and grabbed it from the air. Mira almost felt tired, the focusing took quite a lot of energy. Bucky looked at the shield and back up to her.

“Doll, you’re a superhero!” He put the shield to the side and kissed her. “Sam has to see this, hold on…”

He ran to Sam’s room. Mira decided to try lifting the coffee table while she waited. She took a deep breath, extending her arm towards the table, moving it upwards as the table shook and hovered above the ground. She tried not to think about the fact that she had the ability to do this, as that would distract her. In fact, the less she thought about anything but lifting the table, the higher it went.

Sam ran in with Bucky and gasped when he saw the coffee table flying. Mira slowly brought it back down and let out a deep breath. The power was cool, but it was draining. She’d have to use it wisely.

“Damn…” Sam whispered.

She turned to them. “That’s the ‘Plus Frontal Lobe Enhancements’.” She took another bite of pizza and ran her fingers through her hair.

“That is so sexy.” Bucky said. Mira blushed.

Sam stood in front of her. “Can you move people?”

She shrugged, then took a deep breath. She focused all of her energy on his center. She found herself straining, probably because of his weight. With a loud grunt, she pushed him back into the wall.

Bucky’s eyes widened. Sam smiled at his cousin and she fell on the couch. “Okay, I’m not moving anything else until tomorrow.” She told them. “Fuckin’ musclehead! I feel like I just pushed out a baby or had a really painful orgasm, jeez…”

Bucky laughed. “Funny you said that because-”

“No, not tonight. Maybe tomorrow if Bruce doesn’t hog the shower.”

“Okay.”

Sam cleared his throat. Mira sighed. “If you don’t want to hear me talk about all the explicit things I want to do to my boyfriend, I suggest you leave. It’s been a while, I need to express some things.” He left after that.

“Wow.”

“I’m serious, I am going to screw your brains out tomorrow.”

“You don’t think it’s too soon?”

She sat up. “People recover in different ways, this is my way. Get some sleep, you’re gonna need it.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “You aren’t expecting me to let you sleep on the couch, are you?”

“I am.”

“Nope, come with me.”

* * *

He led her to his room, she sunk into the bed like it was a cloud. He pulled her body close to his and kissed her shoulder blades and back. She turned and faced him, her eyes were filling with tears. He knew this was coming, he'd be worried if it didn't.

“There was a moment in that place when I thought I would never see you again,” she told him. “Even if they kept me alive, they’d turn you back into that thing.”

He moved her hair from her face and wiped the tears off of her cheeks. “The last time we were in bed together, you were crying because I was going to leave you in the morning. I’m not going anywhere, I’m not changing into anything. You have me all to yourself as long as you need me.”

“No, let me just talk for a second.”

“Go ahead.”

“I thought I’d never see you. I thought never hear your stupid deep chuckle thing that you do when you think something is absolutely hilarious but you don’t want people to see you smile. I thought I’d never see you take an eternity to clean your damn arm, see you be so focused and meticulous with something. I thought I’d never see you and Steve act like the biggest stupidest toddlers on the planet because I know you two love each other just as much as we love each other and it breaks my heart because Steve knows exactly how I feel right now. I thought I’d never touch you again or make love with you or tell you I love you ever again. It made me realize how deeply I’m in love with you, Bucky Barnes. Imagining life without you was unbearable.”

Bucky was speechless. He looked at her with an absolutely broken heart and a feeling of adoration. “Can I speak now?”

“Sure.”

“You know I suck with words, especially when it comes to you, but I need you to know that when I went searching for you I thought Hydra killed you. I went in there fully intending to have my revenge and kill them all. When I found you, I don’t know… I was so happy. It was one of the fucking happiest moments of my life. So, the truth is, I can’t live without you either.”

Mira smiled and nuzzled her face into his shirt. “Well, now you don’t have to.”

He smiled and kissed her forehead. “Yeah, I guess I don’t.”

_**For once, they both drifted off into a very calm sleep.** _

 


	25. Preview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the first few paragraphs of the second part, 'Not Dead Yet'.  
> 'Not Dead Yet' should be ready for your eyes and hearts in two weeks. See y'all then!

**September 22nd, 9:30 pm**

Tony Stark was putting the final touches on the decorations for another legendary Stark party. It was Mira’s 28th birthday, also she'd been officially given a promotion at S.H.I.E.L.D, so Sam had Tony plan a huge party at Avengers Tower where she’d been living for a few months.

According to Mira, it also marked a full ten months of her and Bucky being together. That fact is not something Tony thought was necessarily party-worthy so he just kinda… forgot about it. Which explains why he walked in on Mira totally giving Bucky an anniversary blowjob in the kitchen at 2 am. _True romance_ , he thought to himself. He pretended not to see and moved on.  Still, would he ever _really_ move on?

Speaking of the very happy birthday girl, she’d picked out the perfect outfit for the party. A beautiful black velvet dress and black heels that Pepper gave to her as an early birthday present the previous day. The dress was sleeveless, which was perfect since she’d gotten a tattoo on the inside of her wrist that she couldn't wait to show off. It said ‘Not Dead Yet’ in black cursive. It was her middle finger to the entirety of Hydra, and a reminder to herself that she was powerful.

 


End file.
